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Women Joke: 11
| Feminist's Fairytale!!
Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess
happened upon a frog in a pond.
The frog said to the princess, "I was once a handsome prince until an
evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and will turn back
into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom
and you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and
forever feel happy doing so."
That night, while the princess dined on frog legs, she kept laughing
and saying, "I don't think so."
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Women Joke: 12
NEW ELEMENTS ON THE PERIODIC TABLE
Element: WOMAN
Symbol: Wo
Atomic Weight: 120 (more or less)
Physical Properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may
freeze anytime. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not
used well.
Chemical properties: Very active. Possesses strong affinity to gold,
silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able
to absorb great amount of exotic food. Turns slightly green when
placed beside a better specimen. Ages rapidly.
Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for
disintegration of wealth. Probably the single most powerful income
reducing agent known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.
Element: MAN
Symbol: XY
Common Name(s): Varies anywhere from John to !@#$&*!
Atomic Weight: 180 +/-100 Physical Properties: Solid at room
temperature, but easily gets bent out of shape. Fairly dense and
sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging
samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young, fresh
samples.
Chemical Properties: Attempts to bond with Wo any chance it can get.
Also, tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when
mixed with Kd (element Kid) for a prolonged period of time. Neutralize
by saturating with alcohol.
Usage: None really, except methane production. Good samples are able
to produce large quantities on command.
Caution: In the absence of Wo, this element rapidly decomposes and
begins to smell.
Women Joke: 13
Q. Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
A. When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.
Women Joke: 14
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be
able to support you. Why do men pass gas more than women? Because
women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure. One golfer tells
another: "Hey, guess what? I got a set of golf clubs for my wife!" The
other replies: "GREAT trade!" How many men does it take to open a
beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in. What do
you call a woman with two brain cells? Pregnant. I married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always. Losing a wife can be
hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. I haven't spoken to my
wife for 18 months-I don't like to interrupt her. Women are so
unreasonable! My wife gets mad because every Saturday night I take a
bath with bubbles in it. I mean, if Bubbles doesn't mind, why should
she? Most accidents happen at home. And the men have to eat them! Some
mornings I wake up grouchy...and some mornings I just let her sleep!
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive
by 90 percent.... Wedding cake! Marriage is a 3-ring circus:
engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.
Women Joke: 15
Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot. Bad girls
make it hot by loosening a few buttons. Good girls only own one credit
card and rarely use it. Bad girls only own one bra and rarely use it.
Good girls wax their floors. Bad girls wax their bikini lines. Good
girls blush during love scenes in a movie. Bad girls know they could
do it better. Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a
strand of pearls. Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a
strand of pearls. Good girls wear high heels to work. Bad girls wear
high heels to bed. Good girls say, "No." Bad girls say, "When?"
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