Women Jokes

      NEW ELEMENTS ON THE PERIODIC TABLE 
 
    Element: WOMAN 
    Symbol: Wo
    Atomic Weight: 120 (more or less)
    Physical Properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may
    freeze anytime. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not
    used well.
    Chemical properties: Very active. Possesses strong affinity to gold,
    silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able
    to absorb great amount of exotic food. Turns slightly green when
    placed beside a better specimen. Ages rapidly.
    Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for
    disintegration of wealth. Probably the single most powerful income
    reducing agent known.
    Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.
    Element: MAN 
    Symbol: XY
    Common Name(s): Varies anywhere from John to !@#$&*!
    Atomic Weight: 180 +/-100 Physical Properties: Solid at room
    temperature, but easily gets bent out of shape. Fairly dense and
    sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging
    samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young, fresh
    samples.
    Chemical Properties: Attempts to bond with Wo any chance it can get.
    Also, tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when
    mixed with Kd (element Kid) for a prolonged period of time. Neutralize
    by saturating with alcohol.
    Usage: None really, except methane production. Good samples are able
    to produce large quantities on command.
    Caution: In the absence of Wo, this element rapidly decomposes and
    begins to smell.