|
WarMilitary Joke: 41
| The general went to the doctor for a physical. Before he began, the doctor
asked him the standard questions -- age, height, weight, and then he asked
when was the last time the general had sex.
'Oh,' he mused, 'It was 1945.'
'Isn't that a long time to go without sex?' the doctor asked.
'I don't think so. According to your clock it's only 21:13.'
|
|
WarMilitary Joke: 42
During the Six Day War, this division of Arabs is making its way across
the burning desert sands towards Israel, when the Arab commander, bouncing
along in his jeep, spots an aged Israeli on top a distant sand dune. The
commander drops his binoculars and shouts orders to a foot soldier to run
up ahead and kill the infidel Israeli. The soldier sprints ahead of the
advancing troops, and soon disappears over the sand dune. The general
stops the troops and waits to see what happens.
Nothing happens. The commander sends a whole platoon of soldiers to
investigate. All twelve Arabs disappear over the sand dune, never to be
seen again. The now-slightly-anxious commander dispatches 3 tanks to find
out just what in the heck is going on, and they disappear over the dune,
too. Sweat pours down the commander's forehead as he orders his entire
division to overrun the solitary Israeli behind the sand dune.
But just then, the first soldier reappears on the distant sand dune and
cups his hands to his lips. "Go back!" he shouts. "Go back! It's
hopeless-- there's TWO of them!"
WarMilitary Joke: 43
A company in the Foreign Legion had spent three years in the Sahara desert
never having seen a woman. They finally decide to send one private on
vacation to the nearest town to spend some time with a woman and tell them
all about it. After a week the private comes back all happy and relaxed.
The whole company crowds around him waiting to hear of his great
escapades. "And on the third day..." he began. "No! no! start with the
first day," Everyone yells out in chorus. "And on the third day, " the
private continues " she asked me to stop so she could go to the
bathroom..."
WarMilitary Joke: 44
Shortly after being assigned to a new base, a Lieutenant and his wife were
invited to the Colonel's home for an evening of bridge. The Lieutenant was
partnered with the Colonel's wife and vice versa. After many hands, the
Lieutenant excused himself to use the toilet, but accidentally left the
door ajar. When the sound of splashing echoed through the family room, his
wife was greatly embarrassed and attempted to apologize, to which the
Colonel's wife smiled demurely, "Don't worry about it; this is the first
time all evening that I've been able to tell what he has in his hand."
WarMilitary Joke: 45
The Italian colonel had his brigade arrayed in full parade dress, proudly
ready for inspection by the general. That worthy warrior strolled back and
forth before the troops, and sniffed and stopped abruptly. "Colonel!" he
spat out. "Yes, general!" the colonel quavered. "Your troops, your
troops," stormed the general. "They look very nice, they stand very nice,
but they stink, man, they stink! Can't you get them to change their
underwear?"
He strode away furiously. The colonel sniffed for himself. "The general,
yes, he's right. Now, Luigi change with Guiseppi, Carlo change with
Giovanni..."
< < Prev
10
Next > >
|
|
