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WarMilitary Joke: 46
| The Army Airborne major was used to harassment from Air
Force fliers about crazy Army paratroopers jumping out of
perfectly good aircraft. "Obviously the Air Force knows there's
no such thing as a 'perfectly good aircraft,'" the irritated
officer finally countered one afternoon, "because they pay
you bastards four times as much to stay in one as the Army
pays its men to jump."
"You've got it all wrong, Major," an Air Force sergeant
replied. "The Army figures anyone stupid enough to jump
out of an airplane voluntarily is gonna be too dumb to bitch
about the salary."
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WarMilitary Joke: 47
A British Army colonel was reviewing the troops in colonial India.
One man he passed sported an enormous erection.
"Sergeant-Major!" the colonel shouted."Give this man 30 days
compassionate home leave."
"Yessir," the Sgt. Major replied.
A few months later the same thing occurred with the same man.
"Sergeant-Major! Give this man another 30 days
compassionate home leave," the Colonel barked.
A few months later, same guy, same problem.
The Colonel is angry. "Sergeant-Major! Haven't we given this
man two compassionate home leaves?"
"Yessir," the Sgt. Major replies.
"Then what's his problem, Sgt. Major?" the Colonel asks.
The Sgt. Major salutes and says, "Sir. It's you he's fond of."
WarMilitary Joke: 48
Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone, but didn't have
change for a dollar. He saw Private Duncan mopping the base's
corridor floors, and asked him,
"Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"
Private Duncan replied, "Sure."
The Corporal turned red. He said, "That's no way to address a
superior officer! Now let's try it again. Private, do you have
change for a dollar?"
Private Duncan replied, "No, SIR!"
WarMilitary Joke: 49
It was the age when knighthood was in flower.
A young lady was pounding away at a piece of
iron with a sledgehammer. Another young lady
saw her and asked, "What are you doing?"
The first one answered, "I'm making socks and
sweater for some soldier boy!"
WarMilitary Joke: 50
A young soldier was making his first parachute jump.
The corporal explained the procedure "You count to
ten and pull the first ripcord. If the chute doesn't
open, pull the second. That should do it. Then, after
you land, there'll be a truck waiting to pick you up."
The soldier checked his gear, called out the customary
"Geronimo!" and jumped out of the plane. He counted to
ten and pulled the ripcord. The chute failed to open.
He pulled the second ripcord and the chute still didn't
open. As he plummeted downward, he said, "I'll bet that
goddamn truck won't be there either!"
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