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Sex Joke: 41
| A mouse and a lion walk were in a bar, drinking a few beers when a
giraffe walked in.
"Get a load of her" said the mouse, "what a babe!" "Well, why not try
your luck?" replied
the lion. So the mouse went over to the giraffe and started talking to
her. Within five
minutes they're out the door and into the night. The next day, the
lion was drinking in the
bar, when the mouse staggered in. The mouse is completely worn out,
and can hardly hold
himself up. The lion helped his pal up on to a stool, poured a drink
down his throat and
said, "What the hell happened to you? I saw you leave with the
giraffe, what happened
after that? Was she all right?"
The mouse replied, "Yeah, she was really something, we went out to
dinner, had a couple
of glasses of wine, and she invited me back to her place to spend the
night. And oh, man!
I've never had a night like it!" "But how come you look like you're so
exhausted?" asked
the lion. "Well" said the mouse, "between the kissing and the
screwing, I must have run a
thousand miles!"
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Sex Joke: 42
Barbara Walters was doing a documentary on the customs of American
Indians. After a
tour of a reservation, she asked a Brave,who had only one feather in
his headdress, "Why
the difference in the number of feathers in the headdresses?" His
reply was, "Me have only
one sqaw, me have only one feather." She asked another Brave, feeling
the first fellow
was only joking. This Brave had four feathers in his headdress. He
replied, "Ugh; me
have four feathers because me sleep with four squaws." Still not
convinced the number of
feathers indicated the number of sqaws involved, she decided to
interview the Chief.
Now the Chief had a headdress full of feathers, which, needless to
say, amused Ms.
Walters. She asked the Chief, "Why do you have so many feathers in
your headdress?"
The Chief proudly pounded his chest and said, "Me Chief. Me fuck-em
all. Big, small, fat,
tall. Me fuck-em all." Horrified, Ms. Walters stated, "You ought to be
hung!" The Chief
replied, "You damned right, me hung. Big like buffalo, long like
snake." Ms. Walters
cried, "You don't have to be so goddamned hostile!" The Chief replied,
"Hoss-style, dog-
style, wolf-style, any-style, me fuck-em all!" With tears in her eyes,
Ms. Walters cried,
"Oh dear." The Chief said, "No deer. Me no fuck deer. Asshole too high
and fuckers run
too fast. No fuck deer!"
Sex Joke: 43
A naive young girl goes into the doctor's office. She says, "Doc, I'm
getting married and
I'm a little inexperienced, so I'd like to ask you a few questions."
He says, "All right."
She says, "All right...what is that thing that hangs between my
fiancé's legs?" The doctor
says, "That's the penis. The male organ, the penis." She says, "Okay.
And what is that
big red knob at the end?" The doctor says, "That's the glans. The head
of the penis, the
glans." She says, "Okay. And what are those two round things, about
twelve inches
behind the head?" The doctor says, "Well, lady, I don't know about
your fiancé, but on
me, they're the cheeks of my ass."
Sex Joke: 44
These two sperm were swimmin' around, doin' their thing and one sperm
asks the
other...Hey, are we almost there??? Is this the fallopian tube???
Sperm #2 says "Naaaa
this is still the esophagus".
Sex Joke: 45
Cold Hands
There's an Ahmish girl riding in a buggy with her mother, and she
say's "my hands are
really cold, how can I warm them up?" Her mother say's "Put them
between your legs,
that will warm them up." So she does, and her mother was right. The
next day the girl is
riding in the buggy with her boyfriend, and he says his hands are
cold, so the girl say's,
"Put them between my legs, that will warm them up." So he does, and
his hands get
warm. The next day he has a cold nose, and they use the same remedy.
The day after that
he say's "My dick is really cold" and the girl says, "Put it between
my legs and warm it
up." So he does. She's talking to her mother the next day and she
asks, "Mom have you
ever heard of a penis?" Her mother says, "Yes, why do you ask?" She
says I don't know
what they are, but they make an awful mess when they thaw out!
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