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Sex Joke: 51
| The Engineer had just returned from a week long seminar. His
boss, instead of asking about the details, asked if were sick as
he looked absolutely terrible. "Well..." said the Engineer, "I met
this blonde and turned out she was an engineer-in-training and
wanted me to tutor her. One thing lead to another and we
ended up back in her room having wild gorilla sex all night."
"OK," replied the boss, "that may explain your fatigue, but why
are your eyes so red ?"
"Well..." said the Engineer, "turns out she was married and had
a baby at home. She started crying, and I started thinking
about my own wife and kids, so I cried too."
"I see." chided the boss, "but that seminar ended Friday. How
come you still appear so ragged ?"
"Well..." said the Engineer, "you can't sit there and cry 4-5
times a day for four days and not look like this."
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Sex Joke: 52
Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not
gotten out of her depression, mourning as if it were only
yesterday. Her daughter constantly is calling her and urging
her to get back into the world.
Finally, Sadie says she'd go out, but didn't know anyone.
Her daughter immediately replies, "Mama! I have someone for
you to meet." Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one
another and after dating for six weeks he asks her to join him
for a weekend in the Catskills. And we know what that meant.
One room and the normal follow up to that. Their first night
there she undresses as he does. There she stood nude
except for a pair of black lacy panties. He in his birthday suit.
Looking at her he asks "Why the panties?"
She replies, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to
explore, but down there I am still in mourning," He knows he's
not getting lucky that night. The following night the same
scenario. She standing there with the black panties on and he
in his birthday suit; except that he has an erection on which he
has a black condom.
She looks at him and asks, "What's with this... a black
condom?"
He replies, "I'm going to offer my condolences."
Sex Joke: 53
The newly married man came home from work to find his new
bride stretched languorously on the sofa, dressed in a negligee.
"Guess what I got planned for dinner?" she asked seductively.
"And don't you dare tell me you had it for lunch today."
Sex Joke: 54
A young married couple has difficulties conceiving a baby, so
after a while the wife consults her doctor, who recommends the
minor of three possible operations.
The operation is performed, but a month later, she's still not
pregnant, so she goes to see the doctor again. This time he
recommends the medium operation, a somewhat more serious
operation, but still not as complicated as the third alternative.
But, there's still no result, and another month later she's back
in the doctors office, and this time she gets the big one.
After having recovered in some weeks, the couple resumes
normal marital activities, and this time they actually succeed in
conceiving a baby.
Filled with joy, the young wife now sees the doctor for the regular
examination during pregnancy and says, "We're so
happy doctor, we're finally having a baby. But what was this
third operation actually all about? The first two weren't that bad,
but this last one I think must have been quite a job, I was dizzy
for weeks after."
"Well," the doctor replies, "since the first two standard
operations failed, we started suspecting your method rather
than your ability, so I made a connection from your throat to
your uterus."
Sex Joke: 55
"I'm finished with Judi!" Jon exclaimed to his friend. "She broke
down and told me she was bisexual. Who the hell wants to
screw just twice a year???"
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