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Sex Joke: 46
| PUPPY LOVE
A man and his son were walking through a field, and saw two dogs
mating. The little boy
asked his Dad what was happening. The Father replied, "Well, son,
they're making a
puppy." The following evening, the little boy was thirsty, so he went
from his bed to get a
glass of water. Not being able to reach the glasses, he walked
unannounced into his parents
bedroom, who were making love in their usual missionary position.
Confused, the boy
asked what were they doing. The Dad responded very slowly and caringly
to his
impressionanle little boy, "Well, son, we are making you a little
brother. "The little boy
replied ,"Please turn Mom over, Dad, I'd rather have a puppy!"
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Sex Joke: 47
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse
falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go
and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to
the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's
Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He
then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and
drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow
again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to
the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I
think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of
the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And
the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story:
If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up
chicks.
Sex Joke: 48
Great A Hot & Juicy Story
Well, I was loafin' around the salad bar at the burger stand one chili
day on Coney Island, when I Frito-Lay'd my eyes on the sweetest little
tomato I'd ever seen. Let's just say I could tell she wasn't gonna be
ice-cold or taste like some of those cheaper spreads I'd eaten.
So I mustard up my courage and I whispered, "Hey, Mama Bird! You got a
sweet set of sesame-seed buns, and I'd live to bury my open-face in
your McMuffin snack pack. And maybe later I could drive-in my Jumbo
Jack in your Box. So, what's your name, anyway?"
"Wendy," she replied, and said that her buns were always hot and
fresh. Well, it seemed like an invitation to me, so I unzipped my
French-fly, pulled down my hash-browns and whipped out my
Quarter-Pounder.
She took one look at my foot-long Weinerschnitzel and said, "Holy
enchirito, what a Whopper! I haven't seen a sausage and a pair of
McNuggets like that since I was in the sack with Long John Silver over
at the Colonel's place, and I probably won't see another 'til Foster
freezes over. And believe me, I relish the thought of squeezin' the
mayonnaise right outta that big Sloppy Joe of yours."
I said, "Look, honey...those meatheads are just horseradish. I'm the
supreme Burger King around here. And by the way, aren't you hungry?"
"Yeah," she shot back, "I haven't even had my breakfast, Jack." It
wasn't long before she was munching on my Big Mac and eventually took
down the whole enchilada. I could tell I wouldn't be able to hold the
pickles or hold the lettuce much longer, so I just blew a whole gallon
of my lo-cal secret sauce to go. She took a big gulp and giggled,
"Oooh, that's fast food. A bit salty, but quality you can taste...and
finger lickin' good, too!"
She said, "So what's yer name, hot dog? Orange you Julius?"
"No," I replied, but you can call me Pizza Man, 'cause I deliver!"
Well anyway, I turned her around, tore off her wrapper, and wedged my
Big Boy between her patties and right up into her hot cherry bendover.
She screamed, "I FOUND THE BEEF, I FOUND THE BEEF!" which just gave me
the urge to keep pounding my SuperBurrito in and out...in and
out...and in and out...and in and out of her hot little micro.
Well, we were still playing Pup 'n' Taco , when she confessed her real
name wasn't Wendy...but Ronald.
Hey, it wasn't my bag, but at least I wouldn't have to worry about
taking her over to see Dr. Pepper to have him pull a Carl's Jr. out of
her oven.
Yeah, little did I know that I had spend the night not with a saucy
little fish filet, but with a flaming Dairy Queen!
Sex Joke: 49
A man is walking past this house when a used condom comes
flying out of the second story window and lands squarely on his
head. Rather disgusted and absolutely furious, he goes up to
the front door and starts pounding on it.
An elderly man opens it and asks him what caused him to
knock so loudly.
The passerby asks, "Who's in your upstairs room?"
The elderly man replies, "I can't see how it's any of your
business. Since, you must know, my daughter and intended
son-in-law are upstairs."
The passerby hands him the used condom and says, "Well, I
just wanted you to know that your intended grandchild fell out
the window!"
Sex Joke: 50
This one New Yorker married himself a southern gal and
brought her to the big city for the first time. When they first
arrived he got them a hotel room and as they were laying in
bed she looked over in the corner and saw a discarded
condom, "Oh yuck!!" she proclaimed as she ponted it to her
new husband
As he craned his neck to see what it was he looked at her and
asked "What they don't use those things where you come
from?"
"Yeah," she said "but we don't skin 'em!"
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