Science Jokes

                   Dihydrogen Monoxide: The Invisible Killer
      
    
 Ban Dihydrogen Monoxide!
 
 Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted
 thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by
 accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide
 do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe
 tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating
 and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body
 electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO
 withdrawl means certain death.
 
 Dihydrogen monoxide:
 
 1. is also know as hydric acid, and is the major component of acid rain
 2. contributes to the "greenhouse effect"
 3. may cause severe burns
 4. contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape
 5. accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals
 6. may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of
    automobile brakes
 7. has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients
 
 CONTAMINATION IS REACHING EPIDEMIC PROPORTIONS!
 
 Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream,
 lake and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is global, and the
 contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. DHMO has caused
 millions of dollars in property damage in the Midwest, and recently
 California.
 
 Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:
 
 - as an industrial solvent and coolant
 - in nuclear power plants
 - in the production of styrofoam
 - as a fire retardant
 - in many forms of cruel animal research
 - in the distribution of pesticides; even after washing, produce remains
   contaminated by this chemical
 - as an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products
 
 Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be
 done to stop them because this practice is still legal. The impact on
 wildlife is extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any longer!
 
 THE HORROR MUST BE STOPPED!
 
 The American government has refused to ban the production and
 distribution chemical due to its "importance to the economic health of
 this nation". In fact, the navy and other military organizations are
 conducting experiments with DHMO, and designing multi-billion dollar
 devices to control and utilize it during warfare situations. Hundreds of
 military research facilities receive tons of it through a highly
 sophisticated underground distribution network. Many store large
 quantities for later use.
 
 IT'S NOT TOO LATE!
 
 Act NOW to prevent further contamination!