Science Jokes

                   Bell Labs Proves Existence of Dark Suckers
      
    
      For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light.
 However, recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise.  Electric
 bulbs don't emit light, they suck dark.  Thus they now call these bulbs
 dark suckers.  The dark sucker theory, according to a Bell Labs
 spokesperson, proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier than
 that of light, and that dark is faster than light.
 
      The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark.
 Take for example, the dark suckers in the room where you are.  There is
 less dark right next to them than there is elsewhere.  The larger the dark
 sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark.  Dark suckers in a parking
 lot have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room.  As with all
 things, dark suckers don't last forever.  Once they are full of dark, they
 can no longer suck.  This is proven by the black spot on a full dark
 sucker.  A candle is a primitive dark sucker.  lA new candle has a white
 wick.  You will notice that after the first use, the wick turns black,
 representing all the dark which has been sucked into it.  If you hold a
 pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, the tip will turn black
 because it got in the path of the dark flowing into the candle.
 
      Unfortunately, these primitive dark suckers have a very limited range.
 There are also portable dark suckers.  The bulbs in these can't handle all
 of the dark by themselves, and must be aided by a dark storage unit.  When
 the dark storage unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before
 the portable dark sucker can operate again.
 
      Dark has mass.  When dark goes into a dark sucker, friction from this
 mass generates heat.  Thus it is not wise to touch an operating dark
 sucker.  Candles present a special problem, as the dark must travel in the
 solid wick instead of through glass.  This generates a great amount of
 heat.  Thus it can be very dangerous to touch an operating candle.  Dark is
 also heavier than light.  If you swim deeper and deeper, you notice it gets
 slowly darker and darker.  When you reach a depth of approximately fifty
 feet, you are in total darkness.  This is because the heavier dark sinks to
 the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats to the top.  The
 immense power of dark can be utilized to mans advantage.  We can collect
 the dark that has settled to the bottom of lakes and push it through
 turbines, which generate electricity and help push it to the ocean where it
 may be safely stored.  Prior to turbines, it was much more difficult to get
 dark from the rivers and lakes to the ocean.  The Indians recognized this
 problem, and tried to solve it.  When on a river in a canoe travelling in
 the same direction as the flow of the dark, they paddled slowly, so as not
 to stop the flow of dark, but when they traveled against the flow of dark,
 they paddled quickly so as to help push the dark along its way.
 
      Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light.  If you were to
 stand in an illuminated room in front of a closed, dark closet, then slowly
 open the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet, but
 since the dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the
 closet.
 
      In conclusion, Bell Labs stated that dark suckers make all our lives
 much easier.  So the next time you look at an electric bulb remember that
 it is indeed a dark sucker.
 
 Author Unknown