SchoolCollege Jokes

                        Letter from Daughter to Parents
      
    
 Dear Mother and Dad:
 
 It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been remiss
 in writing this and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having
 written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on,
 please sit down. YOU ARE NOT TO READ ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU ARE SITTING DOWN. OKAY!
 
 Well then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull  fracture and the
 concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it
 caught fire shortly after my arrival are pretty well healed now. I only get
 those sick headaches once a day.
 
 Fortunately the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by an attendant
 at the gas station near the dorm, and he was the one who called the fire
 department and the ambulance. He also visited me at the hospital and since
 I had nowhere to live, because of the burned out dormitory, he was kind enough
 to invite me to share his apartment with him. It's really a basement room,
 but it's kind of cute. He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in
 love and are planning to be married. We haven't set the exact date yet, but
 it will be before my pregnancy begins to show.
 
 Yes Mother and Dad, I am pregnant. I know how much you are looking forward
 to being grrandparents and I know you will welcome the baby and give it the
 love, devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a child. The reason
 for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has some minor infection
 which prevents us from passing our pre-marital blood tests and I carelessly
 caught it from him. This will soon clear up with the penicillin injections
 I am taking daily.
 
 I know you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind and
 although not well educated, he is ambitious. Although he is of a different
 race and religion than ours, I know your oft expressed tolerance will not
 permit you to be bothered by the fact that his skin color is somewhat darker
 than ours. I am sure you will love him as I do. His family background is
 good too, for I am told that his father is an important gun-bearer in the
 village in Africa from which he came.
 
 Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there was
 no dormitory fire, I did not have a concussion or a skull fracture. I was
 not in the hospital,  I am not pregnant,  I am  not engaged. I do not have
 syphillis and there is no man (of any color) in my life. However, I am getting
 a 'D' in History and an 'F' in Science and I wanted you to see those marks
 in the proper perspective.
 
 Yours-
         Your Loving Daughter