SchoolCollege Jokes

  Selections From the Scholastic Aptitude Preparatory Test
 
                                            (the S.A.P.)
 
 
 
                    ENGLISH
      
 1.  Which of the following is the correct answer to this question?
     a.   b.   c.   d.   e. none of the above
      
 2.  ingot:bleak   ::   ingot:_______
     a. tepid   b. gold   c. oak   d. bolonga   e. bleak
      
 3.  pork:algae   ::   green:_______
     a. six   b. five   c. ten   d. marble   e. red
      
 4.  mugger:park   ::   king:_______
     a. castle   b. burger   c. queen   d. Jacuzzi   e. bleak
      
      
                 READING COMPREHENSION
      
 Read the following carefully and answer the questions below.
     
   In addition to the obvious effects of solar activity on the upper
 atmosphere, some scientists contend that it also affects the
 weather.  These contentions, however, are for the most part
 unconfirmed and some are very dubious.  Even further afield, a
 British researcher on epidemiology claimed last year that "the
 periods of world dominance of successive major subtypes of influenza
 virus have synchronized closely with the periodicity of sunspots."
 Correlatons of biomedical phenomenon with solar activity, such as
 this one, are generally not taken seriously by most Western scintists.
 Many researchers in the Soviet Union, however, do believe in such
 possibilites, including even a correlation of sunspots with outbreaks
 of plague-spreading rodents in central Asia.
      
 1.  In what lanuage is the British researcher speaking?
     a. Japanese   b. Urdu   c. Bengali   d. British   e. Media
      
 2.  The term "most Western" means
     a. Hawaii   b. John Ford's longest film   c. nothing   d. correct
      
 3.  A conclusion that could be drawn from this passage is
     a. Russian scientists are idiots and Russia is full of rats
     b. The sun has sunspots
     c. Don't ask a question of a British researcher if you want an answer
     d. all of the above
      
      
                   MATHEMATICS
      
 1.  Which of the following is a number?
     a. blue   b. Jacques Cousteau   c. watermelon   d. John Doe   e. 5
      
 2.  If Juan is fourteen and weighs 150 pounds, and Grover is nine
     and weighs 70 pounds, what is the probability that Juan can
     get anything he wants from Grover?
     a. 0%   b. 100%   c. a and b   d. a only   e. b only
      
 3.  Delbert McBumm wants to pawn a hundred-dollar watch.  The
     pawnbroker gives him eleven dollars for it and then sells it
     for a hundred and twenty-five.  What was the relative rate of
     mark-up in the watch in relation to half of its worth, if the
     worth is calculated at three-quarters the difference between
     the pawnbrokers's offer and 78% of Delbert's assessment of the
     watch's value?
     a. 100   b. 50   c. 75   d. 115   e. none of the above
     
                                            /\50 6/\
 5. Calculate the shaded area             6/  \__/  \2
     of the figure at the right.          /     2    |
     a. 0   b. 50%   c. c only            \    /\    |
     d. the answer is a                   9\  /7 \   |10
     e. go back, it's a                     \/   8\__|
      
 6.  Grant McSwine is a repairman.  If he tells Mr. White that it
     will take him about 10 hours to do a specific job, how long will
     it really take him?
     a. six weeks   b. half an hour   c. about three hundred dollars longer
     d. not enough information because the type of repair is not indicated
      
      
                    QUANTITATIVE COMPARISON
      
 In the following questions you are asked to compare two quantities.
 These quantities may be equal, or one may be bigger, or neither.
 On your answer sheet choose a if b is bigger, choose b if a and b
 are equal, choose c if a is bigger, choose d if neither one is
 bigger, choose e if both are bigger, choose f if the answer cannot
 be determined from the information given, choose g if you have no
 idea.
      
           a. 2                           b. 15
           a. the area of a circle        b. the area of a square
              whose area is 10               whose area is 10
           a. my dad                      b. your dad
           a. New York City               b. Limpid, Iowa
           a. something                   b. nothing
           a. a mountain                  b. a molehill