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RoadDriving Joke: 31
| A young bloke has started work on a property, and the boss
sends him up the back paddocks to do some fencing work, but
come evening he's half an hour late. The boss gets on the CB
radio to check if he's all right.
"I've got a problem, Boss. I'm stuck 'ere. I've hit a pig!"
"Ah well, these things happen sometimes," the boss says.
"Just drag the carcass off the road so nobody else hits it in the
dark."
"But he's not dead, boss. He's gotten tangled up on the bull
bar, and I've tried to untangle him, but he's kicking and
squealing, and he's real big boss. I'm afraid he's gonna hurt
me!"
"Never mind," says the boss. "There's a .303 under the tarp in
the back. Get that out and shoot him. Then drag the carcass
off the road and come on home."
"Okay, boss."
Another half an hour goes by, but there's still not a peep from
the young fella. The boss gets back on the CB. "What's the
problem, son?"
"Well, I did what you said boss, but I'm still stuck."
"What's up? Did you drag the pig off the road like I said?"
"Yeah boss, but his motorcycle is still jammed under the
truck."
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RoadDriving Joke: 32
A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse. He got out and
knocked at the door. A very old woman answered the door, and
he asked her for directions to Des Moines.
"Don't know," the woman said.
He got back in his car and pulled away. Then he heard voices.
He looked in his rearview mirror and saw the woman and an
equally old man waving for him to come back. So he made a U-
turn and drove up to them.
"This is my husband," the old woman said. "He doesn't know
how to get to Des Moines either."
RoadDriving Joke: 33
The new metro cop pulled a speeder who was zipping down Maple Avenue.
"Can I see your license and registration, bub?", the cop inquired.
"But officer," the fellow started, "I can explain..."
"Shut yer trap, bub!" snapped the officer. "You're going downtown
and sit a while till the sarge gets back."
"But, officer, I think you really should know..."
"And I said to shut yer trap! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the cop looked in on his prisoner and said,
"Lucky for you that the sarge is at his daughter's wedding.
He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," shot back the sap in the cell. "I'm the groom."
RoadDriving Joke: 34
What's the difference between a Harley and a Hoover vacuum???
Answer: The position of the dirtbag!
RoadDriving Joke: 35
A truck driver breaks down and shortly another trucker stops to give
him hand. He notices that the first driver has a big red spot painted
on his dash and asks him what it's for. He replies "Oh that's a
conversation piece for when I pick up female hitchhikers. I get lots
of pussy that way" The other driver thinks that's a great idea so he
paints a red spot on his dash too. Then he sees a girl hitchhiking so
he picks her up. She notices the red spot on the dash and asks him
what it's for. He says "It's a conversation piece. You wanna fuck?"
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