RoadDriving Joke: 11
| When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said
she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have
waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court," he smiled
with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not pass through
a red light' five hundred times."
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RoadDriving Joke: 12
An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns,
drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit
when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of
his license plate.
The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again;
even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a third
time, at an even slower speed. Same result.
"This guy must have screwed up the settings," the off-duty
officer thought.
A few weeks later, when he received the violations in the mail,
he discovered three traffic tickets:
Each for not wearing a seat belt!
RoadDriving Joke: 13
A Britt in South Africa was enjoying a ride in his European car when an
American zoomed by in a Corvette.
The Britt cursed, while the Corvette disappeared in the distance. The
American chap however saw an Afrikaner struggling uphill on his stripped
peddle bike. Just the bare essentials and a large bell, thats all the poor
guy had.
He stopped and offered the Afrikaner a lift. "No thank you sir here in
South Africa we don't sit in a car with white folks."
"In that case let me towe you up hill."
They agreed and the Corvette slowly pulled the Afrikaner up hill. Just then
the Britt passed him in his white European car B Leland, no less, and stuck
his middle finger in the air and waved menacingly. The American got mad,
forgot he was towing the Afrikaner, and took off like a lightning bolt.
Going down hill they spotted a Police Car and slowed down some. The Trooper
yanked his mike from the holder and shouted. "Look out for a white British
B Leland followed by a Corvette and an Afrikaner behind ringing the bell
trying to pass both. Lock him up."
RoadDriving Joke: 14
Jones is driving past the state mental hospital when his left rear
tire suffers a flat. While Jones is changing the tire, another car
goes by, running over the hub cap in which Jones was keeping the lug
nuts. the nuts are all knocked into a nearby storm drain.
Jones is at a loss for what to do and is about to go call a cab when
he hears a shout from behind the hospital fence, where one of the
inmates has been watching the whole thing.
"Hey, pal! Why don't you just take one lug nut off each of the other
three wheels? That'll hold your tires on until you can get to a garage
or something."
Jones is startled by the patient's seeming rationality, but realizes
the plan will work, and installs the spare tire without incident.
Before he leaves, he calls back to the patient. "You know, that was
pretty sharp thinking. Why do they have you in there?"
The patient smiles and says, "I'm in here because I'm crazy, not
because I'm stupid."
RoadDriving Joke: 15
a quadruple amputee is waiting at the bus stop.The bus pulls up.Driver says
"alright John, how you getting on today?"
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