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RoadDriving Joke: 6
| Love Jesus
by Dennis DiPasquale
The other day I went to the local religious book store,
where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it
and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I'm really glad I
did. What an uplifting experience followed. I was stopped at the
light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the
Lord, and didn't notice that the light had changed. That bumper
sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus.
Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must REALLY
love the lord because pretty soon, he leaned out his window and
yelled, "Jesus Christ!!" as loud as he could. It was like a
football game with him shouting, "GO JESUS CHRIST,GO!!!"
Everyone else started honking, too, so I leaned out my window and
waved and smiled to all of those loving people. There must have
been a guy from Florida back there because I could hear him
yelling something about a sunny beach, and saw him waving in a
funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.
I asked my two kids what that meant. They kind of squirmed,
looked at each other, giggled and told me that it was the
Hawaiian good luck sign. So, I leaned out the window and gave him
the good luck sign back. Several cars behind, a very nice black
man stepped out of his car and yelled something. I couldn't hear
him very well, but it sounded like, "Mother trucker," or
"Mother's from there." Maybe he was from Florida, too. He must
really love the lord. A couple of the people were so caught up in
the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and were
walking toward me. I bet they wanted to pray, but just then I
noticed that the light had changed, and stepped on the gas. And a
good thing I did, because I was the only driver to get across the
intersection. I looked back at them standing there. I leaned way
out the window, gave them a big smile and held up the Hawaiian
good luck sign, as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such
wonderful folks.
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RoadDriving Joke: 7
There was a man and woman traveling along in their car. The man was
driving when a
police officer pulls them over. The officer walks up to the window and
says "Did you
know you were speeding back there." The lady (who is almost deaf) said
to her husband
"What did he say, what did he say?" The man turns to his wife and said
"He said I was
speeding." The officer then said "Where are you from?" The man replied
"Chicago" The
wife then says "What did he say, what did he say?" The man turns to
his wife and said,
"He wanted to know where we came from." The officer then said "Shit,
you know, I had
my worst fuck ever in Chicago." The lady then says "What did he say,
what did he say?"
The man turns back and says "He says he thinks he knows you."
RoadDriving Joke: 8
A yuppie opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along
and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived
at the scene, the yuppie was complaining bitterly about the damage
to his precious BMW.
"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeeemer!!!", he whined.
"You yuppies are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!", retorted
the officer. "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you
didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"
"Oh my gaaawd...," replied the yuppie, finally noticing the bloody
left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex?!!!!!"
RoadDriving Joke: 9
Two guys are driving through Texas when they get pulled over
by a state trooper. The trooper walks up, taps on the window
with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the
trooper smacks him in the head with the stick.
The driver says, "Why'd you do that?
The trooper says, "You're in Texas, son. When I pull you over,
you'll have your license ready."
Driver says, "I'm sorry, officer, I'm not from around here."
The trooper runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean.
He gives the guy his license back and walks around to the
passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls
his window down, and the trooper smacks him with the
nightstick.
The passenger says, "What'd you do that for?"
The cop says,"Just making your wishes come true."
The passenger says, "Huh?"
The cop says, "I know that two miles down the road you're
gonna say, 'I wish that sucker would've tried that shit with me!'"
RoadDriving Joke: 10
A Lutheran minister is driving down to New York to see the
radio show and he's stopped in Connecticut for speeding. The
state trooper smells alcohol on his breath and then he sees an
empty wine bottle on the floor, and he says, "Sir, have you
been drinking?"
And the minister says, "Just water."
The sheriff says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
And the minister looks down at the bottle and says, "Good
Lord, He's done it again!"
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