|
ReligionChurch Joke: 1
| A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
they were drawing. She walked around to look at the artwork.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked
what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like.
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl
replied, "They will in a minute."
|
|
ReligionChurch Joke: 2
Three Reform Rabbis were in a terrible auto wreck. None
survived.
One minute they were driving along the highway, talking and
laughing and joking, and the next, BOOM! they were before the
Creator of all.
Shaking his head, The Omnipotent One looks at the three.
"Reform I can understand. But where will it end? You!
Goldblum! The ashtrays in your temple so My people could
smoke while the Torah was being read???"
Goldblum shuddered.
God went on. "I can live with that. Men are weak, but the Word
is strong!"
Goldblum sighed with relief.
"Bauman! Really, I can accept My people need to eat, but
really: serving Ham Sandwiches to the devout at the temple
during Yom Kippur?"
Bauman hung his head in shame.
"Even that I can allow to pass, even with the eating of that
which is not Kosher. I'm not pleased at all with the playing fast
and loose with my people, but I can accept these
indiscretions."
Bauman also heaved a sigh of relief.
Finally, He turns to the third rabbi and says, "You, Rabinowitz,
have gone too far! Am I asking too much? No, you flaunt
the world at Me, even on the holiest days of Rosh Hashana and
Yom Kippur by putting out a sign saying....
"Closed for the Holiday !!!"
ReligionChurch Joke: 3
GIRL'S CONFESSION
The priest leaned closer to hear the girl's confession. "So me and
my cousin were alone in the house," she continued, "and went up to my
bedroom..."
"Go on, my child," said the priest gently.
"I lay down on the bed and Joe got on top of me and put his hand
on my....on my..."
"Go on."
"On my pussy," stammered the girl, blushing behind the screen.
"And touched me and touched me until I couldn't help myself."
"Yes, go on," the priest directed.
"I pulled down his pants and his cock popped out, stiff and tall,"
the girl went on, with a little whimper of shame, "and he began to
shove it in me so hard..."
"Yes, yes... Go on," he urged, breathing hard.
"And then we heard the front door slam--"
"Oh, SHIT!!!!
ReligionChurch Joke: 4
Two priests are off to the showers late one night.
They undress and step in the showers before they
realize there is no soap. Father John says he has
some soap in his room and goes to get it, not
bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap in
his hands and heads back to the showers. He gets
halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns
heading his way. Having no place to hide, he
stands against the wall and freezes like he's a
statue.
The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks.
The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls his
dick. Startled, he drops a bar of soap.
"Oh look," says the 2nd nun... "A soap dispenser."
To test her theory she also pulls his dick...and
sure enough he drops the last bar of soap. The
third nun then pulls, first once, then twice and
three times. Still nothing happens. So she tries
once more and to her delight she yells...
"Look, hand cream!"
ReligionChurch Joke: 5
Satanic Barney Proof
Given: Barney is a CUTE PURPLE DINOSAUR
Prove: Barney is satanic
The Romans had no letter 'U', and used 'V' instead for
printing, meaning the Roman representation would for
Barney would be: CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR
CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR
Extracting the Roman numerals, we have:
CV V L DI V
And their decimal equivalents are:
100 5 5 50 500 1 5
Adding those numbers produces: 666.
666 is the number of the Beast.
Proved: BARNEY IS SATAN!
oI=vo
?/$="'" """^SATAN$~\
.&?/' `""$$,
,/?/' /-"^\. .-=~\T,
,/?/' /SATAN| |\IS,&' |LT
`\?\\ ``\?\^I/HATE@:~:$=v\. `$k==v\.??\, `\d `\$
$'9P'I-LOVE=SATAN\/$$~?$\ ,R/
/$?~^'"""""`"\\&&< ?b "`~$P:c: /v==v,#::?<<&:'T| d$/'
[|:. ""=o/&. ,P o&Z'`'.##| |MH\|| ,$$'
`=:$H&=\. `"b?b. .&' 96*.-v.:?/`\==$&?$&*'
`^$?\. `*&*\\ ,P ?~-~' |$$S>'
`\7b ,T/\&&\. d? |T'
\/b .&J' `\> d' T,
&`L /|| ?| ?,
||9 J\T H ?,
H|| ||/ || 9,
||M PJ' || `H
bT, ||T || ||
T/L H|| `b M
&T, M| 9, 9
`L9, M| `&. |
`?*,9|| `b d
`\?(|H. `b ?b
`*\ `&. `\. J*|b
`\o/\. `&. ,P 9/L
9:&. `9\ ?? `H9.
*?9\ `b .&' |/|
`|`\. `L ./' `|H
d\/qZbo. M .,=' ,|T
./~&$$?=??/' `"=H$| H .o='' J\|
,*/'' `\? `' ./?ov=="*b9, ,$P
,Td ,$$'`' ?|M ,$/
J|| ,$?/ M|| ?$/
M|| |>\. .,~9$'' T|| d'M.
9`| `Hi:R&:&&6&="' ./$J| `^"\Z\.
||M `=Z\:"" H|T" `&H&>v
bT, .. v,?|\ M|| .:Z|&\.
||H DEATH~>TO9H| `?*\ ?$`#'H
9ALL|1KIDS* .$/ `bZ&\ ,o\&KILL&/'
\?$.:?ooo/*""' `\$$b |\MAIM*:./'
`"""' `' `~?&qDESTROY#/'
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
Next > >
|
|
