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ReligionChurch Joke: 1
A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She walked around to look at the artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like.

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, "They will in a minute."


ReligionChurch Joke: 2
Three Reform Rabbis were in a terrible auto wreck. None survived.

One minute they were driving along the highway, talking and laughing and joking, and the next, BOOM! they were before the Creator of all.

Shaking his head, The Omnipotent One looks at the three. "Reform I can understand. But where will it end? You! Goldblum! The ashtrays in your temple so My people could smoke while the Torah was being read???"

Goldblum shuddered.

God went on. "I can live with that. Men are weak, but the Word is strong!"

Goldblum sighed with relief.

"Bauman! Really, I can accept My people need to eat, but really: serving Ham Sandwiches to the devout at the temple during Yom Kippur?"

Bauman hung his head in shame.

"Even that I can allow to pass, even with the eating of that which is not Kosher. I'm not pleased at all with the playing fast and loose with my people, but I can accept these indiscretions."

Bauman also heaved a sigh of relief.

Finally, He turns to the third rabbi and says, "You, Rabinowitz, have gone too far! Am I asking too much? No, you flaunt the world at Me, even on the holiest days of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur by putting out a sign saying....

"Closed for the Holiday !!!"


ReligionChurch Joke: 3
GIRL'S CONFESSION

The priest leaned closer to hear the girl's confession. "So me and my cousin were alone in the house," she continued, "and went up to my bedroom..." "Go on, my child," said the priest gently. "I lay down on the bed and Joe got on top of me and put his hand on my....on my..." "Go on." "On my pussy," stammered the girl, blushing behind the screen. "And touched me and touched me until I couldn't help myself." "Yes, go on," the priest directed. "I pulled down his pants and his cock popped out, stiff and tall," the girl went on, with a little whimper of shame, "and he began to shove it in me so hard..." "Yes, yes... Go on," he urged, breathing hard. "And then we heard the front door slam--" "Oh, SHIT!!!!


ReligionChurch Joke: 4
Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step in the showers before they realize there is no soap. Father John says he has some soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress. He grabs two bars of soap in his hands and heads back to the showers. He gets halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way. Having no place to hide, he stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue. The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks. The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls his dick. Startled, he drops a bar of soap. "Oh look," says the 2nd nun... "A soap dispenser." To test her theory she also pulls his dick...and sure enough he drops the last bar of soap. The third nun then pulls, first once, then twice and three times. Still nothing happens. So she tries once more and to her delight she yells... "Look, hand cream!"


ReligionChurch Joke: 5
Satanic Barney Proof Given: Barney is a CUTE PURPLE DINOSAUR Prove: Barney is satanic

The Romans had no letter 'U', and used 'V' instead for printing, meaning the Roman representation would for Barney would be: CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR

CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR

Extracting the Roman numerals, we have: CV V L DI V

And their decimal equivalents are: 100 5 5 50 500 1 5

Adding those numbers produces: 666.

666 is the number of the Beast.

Proved: BARNEY IS SATAN!

oI=vo ?/$="'" """^SATAN$~\ .&?/' `""$$, ,/?/' /-"^\. .-=~\T, ,/?/' /SATAN| |\IS,&' |LT `\?\\ ``\?\^I/HATE@:~:$=v\. `$k==v\.??\, `\d `\$ $'9P'I-LOVE=SATAN\/$$~?$\ ,R/ /$?~^'"""""`"\\&&< ?b "`~$P:c: /v==v,#::?<<&:'T| d$/' [|:. ""=o/&. ,P o&Z'`'.##| |MH\|| ,$$' `=:$H&=\. `"b?b. .&' 96*.-v.:?/`\==$&?$&*' `^$?\. `*&*\\ ,P ?~-~' |$$S>' `\7b ,T/\&&\. d? |T' \/b .&J' `\> d' T, &`L /|| ?| ?, ||9 J\T H ?, H|| ||/ || 9, ||M PJ' || `H bT, ||T || || T/L H|| `b M &T, M| 9, 9 `L9, M| `&. | `?*,9|| `b d `\?(|H. `b ?b `*\ `&. `\. J*|b `\o/\. `&. ,P 9/L 9:&. `9\ ?? `H9. *?9\ `b .&' |/| `|`\. `L ./' `|H d\/qZbo. M .,=' ,|T ./~&$$?=??/' `"=H$| H .o='' J\| ,*/'' `\? `' ./?ov=="*b9, ,$P ,Td ,$$'`' ?|M ,$/ J|| ,$?/ M|| ?$/ M|| |>\. .,~9$'' T|| d'M. 9`| `Hi:R&:&&6&="' ./$J| `^"\Z\. ||M `=Z\:"" H|T" `&H&>v bT, .. v,?|\ M|| .:Z|&\. ||H DEATH~>TO9H| `?*\ ?$`#'H 9ALL|1KIDS* .$/ `bZ&\ ,o\&KILL&/' \?$.:?ooo/*""' `\$$b |\MAIM*:./' `"""' `' `~?&qDESTROY#/'





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