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ReligionChurch Joke: 31
| TWO NUNS AND A BLIND MAN
Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother
Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits. After conferring
about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their
habits, and paint in the nude.
In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. "Who is it?", calls one of the
nuns. "Blind man," replies a voice from the other side of the door. The two nuns look at each
other and shrug, and, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room,
they open the door.
"Nice tits," says the man, "where do you want these blinds?"
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ReligionChurch Joke: 32
There was a large nuclear accident and one of the worlds largest
cities was totally
destroyed. There were millions of people dead it was a real tragedy.
With that many people
of course things got backed up at the pearly gates, where they have to
interview everyone.
The people were lined up for miles. Then at the front of the line a
large cheer went up, and
there was much rejoicing. Of course the people at the back of the line
were curious about
what was happening. Finally one man stepped out and called toward the
front of the line,
"what's going on?" Someone called back "They ain't gonna count
fucking."
ReligionChurch Joke: 33
"Father! Father! An old man on crutches walked up to the holy water a
minute ago, and he
splashed some on his right leg and then he threw away his right
crutch! Then he splashed
some more on the other leg and threw away his left crutch!" "My boy,
you've witnessed a
miracle! What happened then?" "He fell on his ass Father he's a
cripple you know!"
ReligionChurch Joke: 34
Two Irish lads had been out shacking up with their girl friends. One
felt guilty and decided
he should stop at the church and confess.
He went into the confession booth and told the Father, "Father, I have
sinned. I have
committed fornication with a lady. Please forgive me."
The Father said, "Tell me who the lady was."
The lad said he couldn't do that and the Father said he couldn't grant
him forgiveness
unless he did.
"Was it Mollie O'Grady?" asked the Father."
"No."
"Was it Rosie Kelly?"
"No."
"Was it that red-headed wench Tessie O'Malley?"
"No."
"Well then," said the Father, "You'll not be forgiven."
When the lad met his friend outside the friend asked, "So, did you
find forgiveness."
"No," said the other, "but I picked up three good prospects!"
ReligionChurch Joke: 35
Six people were on a plane. A doctor, a lawyer a priest and 3
children.
The pilot comes on the radio and says the plane is going to crash,and
there are only three
parachutes.
The doctor yells out, " Save the children"
The lawyer yells out "FUCK THE CHILDREN!"
The priest yells out " IS THERE TIME?"
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