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ReligionChurch Joke: 26
| A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord's
Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after
her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The
mother listened with pride, as she carefully enunciated each
word right up to the end..."And lead us not into temptation",
she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail, Amen."
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ReligionChurch Joke: 27
Q: How did they know that Jesus was Jewish?
A: Because he lived at home until he was thirty, he went into his father's business, his mother
thought he was God, and he thought his mother was a virgin.
ReligionChurch Joke: 28
Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle aged couple and a young
newlywed couple wanted to join a church.
The pastor says, "We have special requirements for new parishioners.
You must abstain from having sex for two weeks."
The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor
goes to the elderly couple and asks, "Were you able to abstain from sex
for the two weeks?"
The old man replies, "No problem at all, Pastor."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church." said the pastor. The pastor
goes to the middle aged couple and asks, "Well, were you able to abstain
from sex for the two weeks?"
The man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I
had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes we made it.
"Congratulations!
Welcome to the church." said the pastor. The pastor then goes to the
newlywed couple and asks, 'Well, were you able to abstain from sex for
two weeks?"
"Well Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks,"
the young man replied.
"What happened?" inquired the pastor.
"My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it.
When she bent over to pick it up, I was over come with lust and took
advantage of her right there."
"You understand of course, this means you will not be welcome in our
church," stated the pastor.
"That's OK." said the young man, "We're not welcome at Safeway anymore,
either."
ReligionChurch Joke: 29
Jay: Does the Bible say that if you smoke you can't get to
heaven?
Ted: No, but the more you smoke the quicker you'll get there.
ReligionChurch Joke: 30
Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one
question.
St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the
iceberg? They just made a movie about it." The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the
Titanic." St. Peter let him through the gate.
St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn't REALLY need all the odors that
this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: "How many people
died on the ship?" Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie and answered,
"about 1,500." "That's right! You may enter."
St. Peter then turned to the lawyer. "Name them."
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