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ReligionChurch Joke: 106
| Tommy goes into a confessional box and says, "Bless me
father for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."
The Priest says, "Is that you, Tommy?
Tommy says "Yes father, it's me."
The Priest says "Who was the woman you were with?"
Tommy says "I cannot tell you, father, because I don't want
to ruin her reputation."
The priest asks, "Was it Brenda O'Malley?"
Tommy replies "No, father."
The priest asks, "Was it Fiona MacDonald?"
Tommy replies "No."
The priest asks, "Was it Ann Brown?"
Tommy replies "No."
The priest asks, "Was it Mary Elizabeth O'Shea?"
Tommy replies "No, father."
The priest asks, "Was it Amy Thomas?"
Tommy replies "No, father."
The priest asks, "Was it little Cathy Morgan?"
Tommy replies "NO father! I cannot tell you."
The priest finally says, "Tommy, I admire your perseverance,
but you must atone for your sins. Your penance will be four
'Our Fathers' and five 'Hail Mary's'. Now go back to your
seat."
Tommy walks back to his pew and his buddy Sean slides over
and whispers, "What happened?!"
"Well, I got four Our Fathers, five Hail Marys, and six
good leads."
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ReligionChurch Joke: 107
God, I was wondering...how long is a million years to you?"
God answered, "Son, a million years to me is like a second to you."
So the man asks, "God how much is a million dollars to you?"
And God answered, "Son a million dollars to me is like one penny to
you."
So the man asks, "God, can I have one of your pennies?"
And God answers, "Just a second son."
ReligionChurch Joke: 108
Three Hells Angels are sitting at a table in a transport cafe when in
walks a Nun, takes a seat next to them and begins to eat.
Astonished, one of them says, "I went to my parents wedding last week and
we all got rat-arsed."
Being quick on the uptake the second one says, " My dad says he will marry
my mum next year."
Despite this the Nun stays right where she is.
In desperation the third one says, " My old man will never ever marry my
mum."
The Nun looks up from her food and says, " Would one of you bastards
please pass the salt."
ReligionChurch Joke: 109
Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?
A: He sold his soul to Santa.
ReligionChurch Joke: 110
The minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermon when he
noticed a young woman in the front row, wearing a tight dress with her
boobs almost hanging out. He couldn't concentrate on his message to the
flock, so he dismissed the service and asked to speak to the woman after
everyone else left the church.
When they were alone, the reverend said in his sternest lecturing voice.
"Just what do you mean, coming to church dressed like that?"
"Why reverend." the young thing replied. All of my boyfriends tell me that
they can hear the angels sing when they put their heads on my breasts."
"Hmm. Well let me check," said the man of the cloth, placing his head
between her tits. After several minutes, he raised his head and said. "I
don't hear any angels singing!"
"Of course not reverend." she said. Your not plugged in yet."
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