ReligionChurch Jokes

  One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local 
 church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem--my husband keeps 
 falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should 
 I do?" 
    "I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I 
 will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to 
 you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the 
 leg." 
    In church the following Sunday, Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the 
 preacher put his plan to work. "And who lay made the ultimate sacrifice 
 for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
  "Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin. 
  "Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. 
  Soon, Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed.
 "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards 
 Mrs. Jones. 
  "God!" Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin. 
  "Right again," said the minister, smiling. 
   Before long, Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister 
 did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few 
 motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with 
 the hatpin again. 
 The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him 
 his last son?" 
 Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned 
 thing in me one more time and I'll break it off and shove it up your ass!"