|
ReligionChurch Joke: 91
| The local priest came across Paddy who had stumbled out of
the town tavern.
"Paddy," he said, " I'm afraid I'll not be seeing you in Heaven
one day."
"Really, Father?" slurred Paddy. "What have you done?"
|
|
ReligionChurch Joke: 92
A man finally goes with his wife to church. The man was so impressed
with the preacher's sermon he stopped on the way out to shake his hand.
"Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a DAMNED fine sermon." The preacher
says "Why thank you sir, but we don't used profanity in the house of
the Lord".
The man says, "But preacher, that was the best DAMNED sermon I ever
heard." The preacher says again, "sir I must be blunt, DO NOT use
curse words in the Lords house again".
The man says "Well I was so impressed with your sermon that I
placed $1000 dollars in the collection plate".
The preacher says "NO SHIT"?
ReligionChurch Joke: 93
In a small Southern town there was a nativity scene that
indicated great skill and talent in its creation. One small feature
bothered me though. The three wise men were wearing
firemen's helmets.
Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left.
At a "Quik Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind
the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage,
yelling at me, "You darn Yankees never do read the Bible!"
I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything
about firemen in the Bible. She jerked her Bible from behind the
counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her
finger at a particular passage.
Sticking it in my face she said, "See, it says right here, 'The
three wise men came from afar.'"
ReligionChurch Joke: 94
How offensive is that?
Jesus has just been nailed to the cross and has begun to suffer
from the wounds, A crowd has gathered to watch and
sympathize with Him. As Jesus looks out over the gathering he
calls to one of his apostle's. "Paul... Paul," He calls out.
Paul hears his name and comes to the front of the
gathering. "Yes Jesus,how may I serve you" he exclaims. Just
then a guard comes up to Paul, cuts Paul's right arm off with
his sword, and throws him back into the crowd, saying "No
one is allowed to speak with the prisoner!"
Jesus once again calls his name. "Paul . . .Paul", he calls.
Paul, determined goes to the front of the gathering again. There
he meets the same gaurd who this time cuts off the left arm, and
both legs and throws him back into the crowd.
Jesus yells out once again , "Paul,...Paul". Paul , who is now
lying on his back on the ground attempts to roll to the front of
the gathering. The guard seeing this determination and devotion
finally weakens and decides to let Paul speak to Jesus. He
goes over to Paul, picks him up and brings him to the front of
the crowd.
Paul, with tears in his eyes looks up to his savior and speaks,
"Yes Jesus, I am here. What is it I can do for you?"
Jesus looks over the horizon and then to Paul and states,"Oh
nothing. I just wanted to tell you that I could see your house
from here!"
ReligionChurch Joke: 95
The priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night.
Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the Devil! Let him know
how little you think of his evil!"
The dying man said nothing.
The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing.
The priest asked, "Why do you refuse to denounce the Devil and his evil?"
The dying man said, "Until I know where I'm heading, I don't think I
ought to aggravate anybody!"
< < Prev
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
Next > >
|
|
