ReligionChurch Jokes

  Process-Oriented God
 
 
 
            If God was process oriented, the Book of Genesis might read something like
                                               this:
 
              In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.  The earth was
              without form and void, so God created a small committee.  He carefully
            balanced the committee vis-a-vis race, gender, ethnic origin, and economic
                status in order to interface pluralism with the holistic concept of
                     self-determination according to adjudicatory guidelines.
                           Even God was impressed, and so ended the first day.
 
            And God said, "Let the committee draw up a mission statement."  And behold,
              the committee decided to prioritize and strategize and God called that
                   process empowerment.  And God thought it sounded pretty good.
                               And evening and morning were the second day.
 
            And God said, "Let the committee determine goals and objectives and engage
                in long-term planning."  Unfortunately, a debate about the semantic
            differences between goals and objectives pre-empted almost all of the third
            day.  Although the question was never satisfactorily resolved, God thought
                                   the process was constructive.
                               And evening and morning were the third day.
 
             And God said, "Let there be a retreat in which the committee can envision
                functional organization and engage in planning by objectives."  The
           committee considered adjustment of priorities and consequential alternatives
           to program directions, and God saw that this was good.  And God thought that
               it was even worth all of the coffee and donuts that he had to supply.
                                       And so ended the fourth day.
 
           And God said, "Let the committee be implemented with long-range planning and
            strategy."  The committee considered guidelines and linkages and structural
             sensitivities, and alternatives and implemental models.  And God saw that
                                     this was very democratic.
                   And so would have ended the fifth day, except for the unintentional
             renewal of the debate about the differences between goals and objectives.
 
           On the sixth day the committee agreed on criteria for adjudicatory assessment
           and evaluation.  This wasn't the agenda that God had planned.  He wasn't able
            to attend, however, because he had to take the afternoon off to create day
            and night and heaven and earth and seas and plants and stars and trees and
            seasons and years and sun and moon and birds and fish and animals and human
                                              beings.
 
                   On the seventh day God rested and the committee submitted its
            recommendations.  It turned out that the recommended forms for things were
              nearly identical to the way that God had created them; so the committee
            passed a resolution commending God for his implementation according to the
            guidelines.  There was, however, some opinion expressed that people should
                            have been created in the committee's image.
 
                   And God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the committee . . .