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Politics Joke: 131
| Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path
of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your
money", he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied, "Hey, watch it - I'm a United
States Congressman!"
"In that case," replied the mugger, "give me MY money."
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Politics Joke: 132
Little Johnny was sitting on the bench in the park.
Suzie comes along chomping on her bubblegum.
Suzie asked, "You wanna play doctor?"
Johnny replied, "NO, that too old fashioned.
Spit out you gum, I wanna play president."
Politics Joke: 133
Fidel dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter tells him
that he is not on the list and that no way, no how, does he belong in
heaven. Fidel must go to hell. So Fidel goes to hell where Satan gives him
a hearty welcome and tells him to make himself at home.
Then Fidel notices that he left his luggage in heaven and tells Satan, who
says, "No hay problema, I'll send a couple of little devils to get your
stuff."
When the little devils get to heaven they find the gates are locked -
St.Peter is having lunch - and they start debating what to do. Finally,
one comes up with the idea that they should go over the wall and get the
luggage.
As they are climbing the wall, two little angels see them, and one angel
says to the other, "My goodness! Fidel has been in hell no more than
ten minutes and we're already getting refugees!"
Politics Joke: 134
What did Chelsea say when Hillary asked if she had sex yet?
"Not according to Dad."
Politics Joke: 135
Dear Abby:
My husband is a lying cheat. He tells me he loves me, but he has cheated
our entire marriage. He is a good provider and has many friends and
supporters. They know he is a lying cheat, but they just avoid the issue.
He is a hard worker but many of his coworkers are leery of him. Every
time he gets caught, he denies it all. Then he admits that he was wrong
and begs me to forgive him.
This has been going on for so long, everyone in town knows he is a cheat.
I don't know what to do.
Signed
Frustrated
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Dear Frustrated:
You should dump him. Now that you are finally a New York Senator, you
don't need him anymore.
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