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Politics Joke: 46
| Greetings prospective White House interns! This year, our
program is heading into its 69th year of bringing America's best and
brightest to the Nation's Capitol to help the "Head Man" do his job.
We expect that 1998 will be the most exciting one yet! Why, you might
be asking yourself, do I want to be a part of this demanding, yet
rewarding program?
Check this out:
* Be a part of the action in the pulsing, throbbing political scene of
the hottest city in the world!
* Get up close and personal with some of America's movers and shakers!
* See rooms in the White House that even a VIP tour won't show you!
* Get total access to plenty of sensitive Presidential activities!
Sound like it's for you? Just listen to this testimonial from a former
intern: "I couldn't believe it! After only a few months on the job
answering phones and fetching coffee, there I was, debriefing the
president. ...Getting involved in executive branch affairs is just
fantastic."- M. Lewinsky, Beverly Hills, Calif. As you can see, being
a White House intern is more than long hours, hot debates and touchy
national issues. Still interested? Fill out this information form and
send it to the White House at [3]president@whitehouse.gov
Name:
Hometown:
Sex: F__
Age:
Measurements: (required for medical purposes)
How many beers it takes to get you... ...Giggly: ...Drunk: ...Hot:
...To lie to a federal prosecutor:...
You've always considered the White House: a) a monument to democracy
b) the place where great leaders meet c) vaguely erotic d) extremely
erotic
Hillary Clinton is a(n): a) model wife and mother b) icon of late 20th
century femininity c) an obstacle d) inappropriate companion for the
leader of the free world
You've always wanted to know more about the President's: a) Israeli
policies b) childhood in Hope, Ark. c) romper room d) "monument to
democracy"
My social life as an intern would likely consist of: a) hitting
Georgetown bars with the other interns b) reading, study c) late
nights working at the White House d) late nights working the White
House
Score 1 point for each a, 2 for each b, 3 for each c, 4 for each d.
Scores of 16 can start tomorrow. Scores of 12 and above, please call
soon, Uncle Sam wants you.
*Please feel free to forward this form to anyone you know who might be
interested in this program. The White House is an equal opportunity
employer.
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Politics Joke: 47
THE LAND OF OZ
Dan Quayle, Newt Gingrich, and Bill Clinton are traveling in a car
together in the Midwest, when suddenly a tornado comes along and
whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards away.
When they come down and pull themselves from the vehicle, they realize
they're in the land of OZ. Naturally, they decide to go to see the
Wizard of OZ.
Says Quayle, "I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain." Says Gingrich,
"I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart." Clinton says, "Where's
Dorothy?"
Politics Joke: 48
Build an Ark
The Lord said to Noah, "In six months, I'm going to make it rain until
the earth is covered with water and all the evil is destroyed. I want
you to build an ark and save two of each animal species. Here are the
blueprints for the ark."
Six months passed. The skies began to cloud and rain began to fall.
Noah sat in his front yard, weeping.
"Why haven't you built the ark?" asked the Lord.
"Oh, forgive me," said Noah. "I did my best, but so many things
happened.
"The blueprints you gave me didn't meet the city's code and I had to
change them. Then the city said I was violating the zoning ordinance
by building an ark in my front yard, so I had to get a varience..
"The Forest Service required tree-cutting permits, and I was sued by a
state animal rights group when I tried to gather up the animals.
"The EPA required an environmental impact statement concerning the
flood. the Army Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed flood
plain.
"The IRS seized all my assets, claiming I was trying to avoid paying
taxes by leaving the country, and the Equal Opportunity Commission
said I wasn't hiring enough Croatians.
"I'm sorry, Lord, but I can't finish the ark for at least five years."
Suddenly the rain stopped, the skies cleared and the sun began to
shine.
Noah looked up and said, "Lord, does this mean you're not going to
devastate the earth?"
"Right," said the Lord. "The government already has."
Politics Joke: 49
I don't think this whole White House scandal is good for
parents. I caught my six year old son David in a lie, and he
said we could discuss it tonight in a "National Town Meeting."
Politics Joke: 50
A lady from California purchased a piece of timber land in
Oregon. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in
the tract. She wanted to get a good view of her land so she
started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top,she
encountered a spotted owl that attacked her.
In her haste to escape, the lady slid down the tree to the
ground and got many splinters in her private parts. In
considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor.
He listened to her story then told her to go into the examining
room and he would see if he could help her.She sat and waited
for three hours before the doctor reappeared.
The angry lady demanded " What took you so long?" and he
replied "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental
Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land
Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a
recreational area."
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