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Ouch Joke: 21
| It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of
corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise.
"Hey Willis!!" the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in
with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon up."
"That's mighty nice of you, " Willis answered, "but I don't think
Pa would like me to."
"Aw, come on," the farmer insisted.
"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "But Pa won't
like it."
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better
now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."
"Don't be foolish !" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way,
where is he?"
"Under the wagon."
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Ouch Joke: 22
I walked up to a really pretty girl at the bar the other night and
said, "Hey, babe, can I buy you a drink?"
She said, "Do you like sex?"
I said, "Of course I like sex."
She said, "Do you like to travel?"
I said, "Yeah, I love to travel."
She said, "Then fuck off."
Ouch Joke: 23
A lady from California purchased a piece of timber land in
Oregon. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in
the tract. She wanted to get a good view of her land so she
started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top,she
encountered a spotted owl that attacked her.
In her haste to escape, the lady slid down the tree to the
ground and got many splinters in her private parts. In
considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor.
He listened to her story then told her to go into the examining
room and he would see if he could help her.She sat and waited
for three hours before the doctor reappeared.
The angry lady demanded " What took you so long?" and he
replied "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental
Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land
Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a
recreational area."
Ouch Joke: 24
This man goes into the doctor with his ringhole in a terrible state,
really bad now.
Doctor: "What happened to you?"
He says: "I was in Africa on safari and I got raped by an elephant!"
Doctor: "But I don't understand. Elephant penises are very narrow and
couldn't cause that much damage!"
He says "Aah but you see doctor, he fingered me first!"
Ouch Joke: 25
A recently divorced woman is walking along the beach contemplating how badly
screwed she got over the divorce settlement, when she spies a magic lamp
washing up onshore.
She rubs the lamp, and out pops a magical genie!!
The genie notices her anger and lets her vent her troubles to him. As a
consolation, the genie informs that he will give her three wishes. But, he
cautions her that because he does not believe in divorce, he will give her
ex-husband ten times the amount of whatever she wishes.
The woman is steaming mad, thinking that this is hardly fair, but she makes
her first wish. The first wish was for a billion dollars. The genie grants
her wish and she finds herself sitting in pile of one billion one-dollar
bills. The genie then reminds her that her husband is now the recipient of
10 billion dollars.
The woman can barely contain her anger when she makes her second wish. The
second wish was for a beautiful mansion on the shore of her own private
beach. In an instant it was granted, but the genie then reminds gain that
her ex-husband now owns ten of what she wished for, and points own the beach
to a small development of ten such mansions.
Upon hearing this, the woman takes her time to contemplate her last wish.
Just as the genie was about to give up on her, the woman informs the genie
that she wants to make the last wish. But, before she can do this, the
genie again warns her that her ex-husband will get ten
times what she wishes for.
No problem, said the woman as she grinned in ecstasy. For my last wish...
"Id like to give birth to twins".
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