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Miscellaneous Joke: 26
| Little Johnny is excited because the circus has come to town and his
mum has got front row tickets for him. Finally the evening comes and
Little Johnny and his mum go off to the big top. Little Johnny sits
there and enjoys the lions and the tigers and the jugglers and the
trapeze artists, and finally out comes little Johnnys favourites, the
clowns.
Johnny is loving the clowns and their humorous japes until one of the
clowns comes up to him and says 'Little boy are you the front end of
an ass?'
'No,' replies little Johnny.
'Are you the rear end of an ass?'
'No,' replies little Johnny again.
'In that case,' says the clown, 'you must be no end of an ass.'
Little Johnny is distraught and he runs out of the circus and all the
way home in tears. When his mum catches up with him she says, 'Little
Johnny don't worry, your Uncle Marvo, the master of lightning wit,
backchat and repartee, is coming to stay tomorrow. We will take him to
the circus and he will sort that nasty clown out.' At this news little
Johnny cheers up and looks forward to the next night.
The next night comes and, sure enough, Uncle Marvo, the master of
lightning wit, backchat and repartee arrives and the three of them set
off for the circus. When they get there Little Johnny, his mum and
Uncle Marvo, the master of lightning wit, backchat and repartee, sit
down and enjoy the lions, the tigers, the jugglers and the trapeze
artists, and then out come the clowns.
Again Little Johnny is enjoying their antics and yet again one of the
clowns comes up to him and says, 'Little boy are you the front end of
an ass?'
Quick as a flash, Uncle Marvo, the master of lightning wit, backchat
and repartee jumps up and shouts at the very top of his voice:
'Fuck off you Red nosed Cunt!'
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Miscellaneous Joke: 27
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
show of hands for who could use the word "beautiful" in the same
sentence twice.
First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father
bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little
Michael.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully,"
he said.
"Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on little Johnny.
"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, fuckin' beautiful!'"
Miscellaneous Joke: 28
Tombstone Epitaph:
Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising
Miscellaneous Joke: 29
Tombstone Epitaph in Memory of an accident in a
Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:
Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.
Miscellaneous Joke: 30
A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:
Sacred to the memory of my husband John Barnes who
died January 3, 1803. His comely young widow, aged
23, has many qualifications of a good wife, and
yearns to be comforted.
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