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Miscellaneous Joke: 21
| Version 1.
This butcher lived in an apartment over his shop. One night he was
awakened by strange noises coming from below, so he tiptoed downstairs
and saw his 19-year-old daughter sitting on the chopping block and
masturbating with a liverwurst. The butcher sighed and tiptoed back to
bed.
The next morning, when a customer walked in and asked for some
liverwurst, the butcher said that he didn't have any left. The
customer was really annoyed, she pointed to the corner of the shop and
asked, "No liverwurst? Well, what's that hanging on the hook right
over there?"
The butcher frowned at her. "That", he replied, "is my son-in-law."
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Miscellaneous Joke: 22
Version 2:
A 60 year old woman came home one day and heard strange noises in her
bedroom. She opened the door and discovered her 40 year old daughter
playing with her vibrator. "What are you doing?" asked the Mom.
"Mom, I am 40 years old and look at me. I am ugly. I will never get
married, so this is pretty much my husband."
The mother walked out of the room, shaking her head.
The next day the father came home and heard noises in the bedroom and
upon entering the room found his daughter using the vibrator. "What
the hell are you doing?!" he asked.
His daughter replied, "I already told Mom. I am 40 years old now and
ugly. I will never get married so this is as close as I'll ever get to
a husband."
The father walked out of the room shaking his head too.
The next day the Mother came home to find her husband with a beer in
one hand and the vibrator sitting next to him, watching the football
game.
"For Christ's sake, what are you doing?" she cried.
The husband replied, "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm having a
beer and watching the game with my new son-in-law!"
Miscellaneous Joke: 23
One day Johnny went to his father and asked him if he could buy him a
$200 bicycle for his birthday.
Johnny's father said, "Johnny, we have an $ 80,000 mortgage on the
house and you want me to buy you a bicycle? Wait until Xmas"
Xmas came around and Johnny asked again.
The father said, "Well the mortgage is still extremely high, sorry
about that. Ask me again some other time."
Well, about two days later, the boy was seen walking out of the house
with all his belongings in a suitcase.
The father felt sorry for him and asked him why he was leaving. The
boy said, "Yesterday I was walking past your room, and I heard you say
that you were pulling out, and mommy said that you should wait because
she was coming too, and DAMN if I'll get stuck with an $80,000
Mortgage!"
Miscellaneous Joke: 24
A sweet little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is
working, and asks him, "Daddy, what's sex?"
So, her father sits her down, and tells her all about the birds and
the bees.
He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse, sperm and eggs etc.
He tells her about puberty, menstruation, men and women and love......
He thinks what the hell, and tells her the works, thinking that to
tell it all is the only way to tell truth.
The girl is somewhat awe struck with this sudden influx of bizarre new
knowledge, and her father finally asks, "So why did you wish to know
about sex?"
"Oh, mommy said lunch would be ready in a couple of secs..."
Miscellaneous Joke: 25
A boy walks into the bathroom and catches his mom sitting on the bowl
in her full glory.
He runs out to tell his father. He asks his father "What's that big
gash between mommy's legs?"
The father replies, "That's where I accidentally hit her with an axe!"
The boy replies "WOW, you got her right in the cunt!"
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