|
Miscellaneous Joke: 11
| What did the egg say to the boiling water?
"I just got laid and now you want me to get hard?!"
Sent by Sarah
|
|
Miscellaneous Joke: 12
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest
in his paintings on display at that time.
"I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good
news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and
wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When
I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."
"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad
news?"
"The guy was your doctor."
Miscellaneous Joke: 13
The composition teacher asked the class to write about an unusual
event that happened during the past week. Little Johnny got up and
read his essay.
It began, "Daddy fell into the well last week..."
"My goodness!" the teacher exclaimed. "Is he all right?"
"He must be," said the boy. "He stopped yelling for help yesterday."
Miscellaneous Joke: 14
Billy-Joe and Betty-Sue get married, and Billy-Joe whisks her away to
his daddy's hunting cabin in the woods, for a romantic 'nature
honeymoon'...
He carries her across the threshold, and they get into bed, when
Betty-Sue whispers in his ear "Billy-Joe, be gentle, I ain never been
with a man b'fore."
"WHAT???" shouts Billy-Joe, and his little bride softly shakes her
head...
Billy-Joe jumps out of bed, grabs his clothes, and races out the door,
into his truck.... down the mountain.... straight to his parents
house... rushes inside screaming "Hey Daddy!, Paw! Git'up!" .....
His father rushes downstairs and gasps... "Billy-Joe, what'r you doin
here?"
Billy-Joe, still breathing hard from his mad flight, gasps "Well,
Betty-Sue an I was in the' cabin, and she toll' me she ain't never
been with a man' afore.... so's I rushed outta there, an' lit back
here... quick as I could!"
His father grasps Billy-Joe's shoulder in reassurance, and says "SON,
Ya done the right thing.... Iffin she ain't good'nuff fer her family,
she shure as shit ain't good'nuff fer ours!!"
Miscellaneous Joke: 15
One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd
toss them in the air, then catch them in his mouth. In the middle of
catching one, his wife asked a question, and as he turned to answer
her, a peanut fell in his ear. He tried and tried to dig it out but
succeeded in only pushing it in deeper. He called his wife for
assistance, and after hours of trying they became worried and decided
to go to hospital.
As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with
her date. After being informed of the problem, their daughter's date
said he could get the peanut out. The young man told the father to sit
down, then shoved two fingers up the father's nose and told him to
blow hard. When the father blew, the peanut flew out. The mother and
daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man insisted that it was
nothing and the daughter brought the young man out to the kitchen for
something to eat. Once he was gone the mother turned to the father.
The mother said, "That's wonderful. Isn't he smart? What do you think
he's going to be when he grows older?!"
The father replies "From the smell of his fingers, our son-in-law!"
< < Prev
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
Next > >
|
|
