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Medicine Joke: 31
| Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their
work. The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate
on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered."
The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on.
You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."
The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up
and everything inside is color-coded."
The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless
spineless, gutless, and their heads and their ass are
interchangeable."
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Medicine Joke: 32
The tired doctor was awakened by a phone call in the middle of the
night.
"Please, you have to come right over," pleaded the distraught young
mother. "My child has swallowed a contraceptive."
The physician dressed quickly, but before he could get out the door,
the phone rang again.
"You don't have to come over after all," the woman said with a sigh of
relief. "My husband just found another one."
Medicine Joke: 33
An old country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby.
It was so far out that there was no electricity. When the doctor
arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5 year
old child.
The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see
while he helped the woman deliver the baby. The child did so, the
mother pushed, and after a little while, the doctor lifted the new
born baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take
his first breath.
"Hit him again," the child said. "He shouldn't have crawled up there
in the first place!!"
Medicine Joke: 34
Son takes his father to the doctor. Doctor gives them the bad news
that the father is dying of cancer. Father tells the son that he has
had a good long life and wants to stop at the bar on the way home to
celebrate it.
While at the bar, the father sees several of his friends. He tells
them that he is dying of AIDS.
When the friends leave the son asks, "Dad, you are dying of cancer.
Why did you tell them that you are dying of AIDS?"
The father replies, "I don't want them fucking your mother after I'm
gone!"
Medicine Joke: 35
A man's wife had been in a coma for several days following a
particularly nasty knock on the head. As usual, one of the nurses in
the hospital was giving her a wash in bed. As she washed down the
woman's body, she sponged her pubic hair. Out of the corner of her eye
she thought she had seen the woman's eyebrows shudder. Not quite sure,
she tried again. This time, she actually did see some movement.
"Doctor, Doctor," she called, "I saw some movement!"
The Doctor came in to the room and tried as well. Once more, they both
saw movement around the woman's eyes.
"Well this is good news," said the Doctor. "I think we should call her
husband and let him know."
Anyway, they called her husband and told him that they had seen some
movement. When he arrived, they explained that by touching her pubic
hair, they were seeing some sort of reaction in her facial muscles.
The Doctor suggested that the husband may like to try something a
little more adventurous in order to provoke a stronger reaction. "I
suggest that we leave the room and that you try a little oral sex," he
said.
The husband duly agreed and so he was left alone in the room. Several
moments later, all the emergency alarms and buzzers were activated.
The Doctor and a host of nurses ran in to the wife's room where they
saw the husband zipping up his jeans.
"Oops," he said, "I think I choked her."
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