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Medicine Joke: 11
| A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist.
The doctor took one look at this woman and all his
professionalism went out the window.
He immediately told her to undress. After she had
disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing
so, he asked her, "Do you know what I'm doing?"
"Yes," she replied, "you're checking for any abrasions
or dermatological abnormalities." "That is right," said
the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts. "Do
you know what I'm doing now?" he asked.
"Yes," the woman said, "you're checking for any lumps or
breast cancer." "Correct," replied the shady doctor.
Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual
intercourse with her. He asked, "Do you know what I'm doing
now?"
"Yes," she said. "You're getting herpes; which is why I came
here in the first place."
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Medicine Joke: 12
A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet.
"I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and
repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll
have lost at least 5 pounds."
When the woman returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly
20 pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my
instructions?"
The woman nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to
drop dead that third day."
"From hunger, you mean?"
"No, from skipping."
Medicine Joke: 13
Late one night at the insane asylum one inmate shouted,
"I am Napoleon!"
Another one said, "How do you know?"
The first inmate said, "God told me!"
Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"
Medicine Joke: 14
Patient: (to cosmetic-surgeon) 'Will it hurt, doctor?
Surgeon: 'Only when you get my bill, Mrs Brown'.
Medicine Joke: 15
Herman the hypochondriac began sobbing before a doctor.
"I'm sure I've got a liver disease, and I'm gonna die from it."
"Ridiculous," said the doctor. "you'd never know if you had the
disease or not. With that ailment there's no discomfort of any
kind."
"Right," said Herman, "those are my exact symptoms."
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