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Medicine Joke: 46
| A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes
one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the
window.
Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins
to stroke her thigh.
As he does this he says to the woman, "Do you know what I'm doing?"
"Yes," she says, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatolegical
abnormalities."
"That's right," says the doctor. He then begins to fondle her breasts.
"Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asks.
"Yes," says the woman, "you're checking for any lumps of breast
cancer."
"That's right," replies the doctor. He then begins to have sexual
intercourse with the woman. He says to her, "Do you know what I'm
doing now?"
"Yes," she says. "You're getting herpes."
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Medicine Joke: 47
A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem.
The doctor asked her the usual questions and then asked her to go
behind the screen and remove her clothes. She was a bit shocked but
went ahead anyway.
When she was undressed he asked her to stand on her hands in front of
and facing a full length mirror. The young woman was even more shocked
but if it would help solve her problem she thought she had better do
what the doctor said.
As soon as she was in position the doctor asked her to open her legs
and when she did he put his head between them and rested his chin
right on her private parts. After a few moments and some very positive
'yes, yes' type noises the doctor instructed her to get dressed again.
Afterwards, the doctor sat her down and informed her that the main
cause of her problem was just that she was drinking far too much
liquid before going to bed.
"So what did the exercise in front of the mirror tell you?"
"Well," said the doctor, "my wife is right, a beard would suit me."
Medicine Joke: 48
A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint
the toilet seat. The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and
gets the seat stuck to her rear. She is understandably distraught
about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor. She puts
on a large overcoat so as to cover the stuck seat, and they go.
When they get to the doctor's, the man lifts his wife's coat to show
their predicament. The man asks, "Doctor, have you ever seen anything
like this before?"
"Well, yes," the doctor replies, "but not framed like that."
Medicine Joke: 49
A girl goes to the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her
blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest.
"How did you get that mark on your chest?", asks the doctor.
"Oh my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never
takes off his sweatshirt, even when we make love", she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she
takes off her blouse, he notices a blue "Y" on her chest.
"How did you get that mark on your chest?", asks the doctor.
"Oh my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never
takes off his sweatshirt, even when we make love", she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she
takes off her blouse, he notices a green "M" on her chest.
"Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor.
She replies, "No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, why do you
ask?"
Medicine Joke: 50
A construction worker goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm
constipated."
The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, "Lean
over the table."
The construction worker leans over the table, the doctor whacks
him on the ass with a baseball bat, and then sends him into the
bathroom.
He comes out a few minutes later and says, "Doc, I feel great.
What should I do?"
The doctor says, "Stop wiping with cement bags."
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