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Marriage Joke: 56
| AVOID SOCIAL BLUNDERS WITH THESE HELPFUL WEDDING HINTS:
- Livestock usually is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
- Is it okay to bring a date to a wedding?
Not if you are the groom.
- When dancing, never remove undergarments;
no matter how hot it is.
- Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds
may get you cut.
- A bridal veil made of window screen is not only
cost-effective, but also a proven fly deterrent.
- For the groom, at least rent a tux. A leisure suit
with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can
create a nice appearance. Though uncomfortable,
say yes to socks and shoes for this special occasion.
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Marriage Joke: 57
"But this isn't an engagement ring." the young lady protested.
"Why it's just a tiny unset diamond."
"Yeah ! I know." said the fellow, "And, it'll be mounted in a
cluster around a big one, the very day after you are."
Marriage Joke: 58
Two newlyweds are riding in the back of a limo on the way to
their honeymoon boat cruise. The husband says, "Honey, I
want to stop and pick up some condoms before we go." "Good
idea," she says. "While you're in there, pick me up some
Dramamine."
The groom gets out, walks into the drugstore and says to the
clerk, "I'd like a box of condoms and a package of Dramamine,
please."
"Yes sir, says the clerk, "but do you mind if I ask you a
question? If it makes you nauseous, why do you do it?"
Marriage Joke: 59
John receives a phone call.
"Hello," he answers.
The voice on the other end says, "This is Susan. We met at a party
about 3 months ago."
John: "Hmm... Susan? About 3 months ago?"
Susan: "Yes, it was at Bill's house. After the party you took me home.
On the way we parked and got into the back seat. You told me I was a
good sport."
John: "Oh, yeah! Susan! How are you?"
Susan: "I'm pregnant and I'm going to kill myself."
John: "Say, you ARE a good sport."
Marriage Joke: 60
A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack up
your things. I just won the California lottery!"
Martha replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?"
The man responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the
house by noon!"
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