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Lawyer Joke: 41
| Question: What is 1 + 2 ?
Politician: Well, if you look at the seasonally adjusted figures,
you'll find that it's reasonably in line with government predictions.
Physicist: I won't tell you until you tell me what you want to use it for.
Lawyer: It makes one and a half each.
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Lawyer Joke: 42
Joe the lawyer died suddenly, at the age of 45. He got to the gates
of Heaven, and the angel standing there said, "We've been waiting a
long time for you."
"What do you mean," he replied, "I'm only 45, in the prime of my life.
Why did I have to die now?"
"45? You're not 45, you're 82," replied the angel.
"Wait a minute. If you think I'm 82 then you have the wrong guy.
I'm only 45. I can show you my birth certificate."
"Hold on. Let me go check," said the angel and disspeared inside. After
a few minutes the angel returned. "Sorry, but by our records you are 82.
I checked all the hours you have billed your clients, and you have to be 82..."
Lawyer Joke: 43
Whats the difference between a bunch of lawyers in a porche
and a porcupine?
- A porcupine has pricks on the outside!
Lawyer Joke: 44
What do you get when you cross a lawyer and a pig?
Nothing, there's some things even a pig won't do!
Lawyer Joke: 45
A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner.
The attorney asks, "Before you signed the
death certificate had you taken the man's pulse?"
The coroner says, "No."
The attorney then asks, "Did you listen for a heart beat?"
"No."
"So when you signed the death certificate you had not taken
any steps to make sure the man was dead, had you?"
The corner, now tired of the brow beating says, "Well, let me
put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my
desk, but for all I know he could be out there practicing law
somewhere."
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