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Lawyer Joke: 66
| The scene is a dark jungle in Africa. Two tigers are stalking through the
brush when the one to the rear reaches out with his tongue and licks the
ass of the tiger in front. The startled tiger turns around and says,
"Hey! Cut it out, alright!"
The rear tiger says, "sorry," and they continue.
After about another five minutes, the rear tiger again reaches out with
his tongue and licks the ass of the tiger in front. The front tiger turns
around and cuffs the rear tiger and says,
"I said stop it!" The rear tiger says, "sorry," and they continue.
After about another five minutes, the rear tiger once more licks the ass
of the tiger in front. The front tiger turns around and asks the rear
tiger, "What is it with you, anyway?"
The rear tiger replies, "Well, I just ate a lawyer and I'm trying to get
the taste out of my mouth!"
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Lawyer Joke: 67
An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his
options with his doctor. The doctor said, "We have 3 possible
donors; the 1st is a young, healthy athlete who died in an
automobile accident, the 2nd is a middle-aged businessman
who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet.
The 3rd is an attorney who died after practicing law for 30
years. Which do you want?"
"I'll take the lawyer's heart", said the patient.
After a successful transplant, the doctor asked the patient why
he had chosen the donor he did. "It was easy", said the
patient, "I wanted a heart that hadn't been used."
Lawyer Joke: 68
A person is in the hospital and asked his doctor how much time does he
have left to live. The doctor did not want to lie so he told him that he
wouldn't make it through the night. So the person calls for his lawyer and
asks him to come and sit by his bed. Right before the person dies, the
lawyer asks him why did he want him next to him. The dying person replied,
"When Jesus died, he had a thief next to him and I want to go the same
way."
Lawyer Joke: 69
How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How many can you afford?
Lawyer Joke: 70
Taylor was desperate for business, and was happy to be appointed by the
court to defend an indigent defendant. The judge ordered Taylor,
"You are to confer with the defendant in the hallway, and give him the
best legal advice you can."
After a time, Taylor re-entered the courtroom alone. When the judge asked
where the defendant had gone, Taylor replied, "You asked me to give him
good advice. I found out that he was guilty as hell, so I told him to
split."
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