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Lawyer Joke: 56
| A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San
Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he
discovers a detailed bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is
so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop
owner the price.
"Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and an
extra thousand for the story behind it."
"At that price, you can keep the story, old man," he replies,
"but I'll take the bronze rat."
The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with the
bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of
the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain and fall into
step behind him.
Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster,
but every time he passes another sewer, more rats come out and
follow him. By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a
hundred rats are at his heels, and people begin to point and
shout. He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as
multitudes of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots, and
abandoned cars... following him.
Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and as he sees the
waterfront at the bottom of the hill he panics and starts to run
full tilt.
No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing
hideously now not just thousands but millions, so that by the
time he comes racing to the water's edge a trail of rats twelve
blocks long is behind him.
Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a lamp post, grasping it
with one arm, while he hurls the bronze rat into San Francisco
Bay as far as he can throw it.
Pulling his legs up and clinging to the post, he watches in
amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over the breakwater
into the sea, where they drown.
Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique shop.
"Ah sir, you've come back for the story," says the owner.
"No," says the tourist, "I was just hoping you had a bronze
sculpture of a lawyer "
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Lawyer Joke: 57
What happens when a lawyer takes viagra?
He gets taller!!
Sent by Bill
Lawyer Joke: 58
What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
Hey! There's some things even a blonde won't do.
Lawyer Joke: 59
A priest and a lawyer are walking down the street and see
a small boy eating an ice cream.
The priest says, "How'd you like to fuck that?"
To which the lawyer replied, "Out of what?"
Lawyer Joke: 60
A man came storming out of the courthouse ranting and raving; obviously
really angry . He stomped accross the street and into the bar and flounced
down on a stool muttering, "Asshole attorneys".
The man next to him recoiled in outrage saying "I want you to know I
highly resent that remark".
"Why, are you an attorney?"
"No, I'm an asshole."
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