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Lawyer Joke: 46
| How are lawyers like sperm?
One out of a million turns out to be a human being.
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Lawyer Joke: 47
For three years, the young attorney had been taking his
brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he'd
finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter.
Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his
suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short.
There sat his lover with an infant in her lap!
"Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were
pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we
could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!"
"Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my
condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and
decided it would be better to have a bastard in the
family than a lawyer!"
Lawyer Joke: 48
An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed
the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and
get prepared for an emergency landing.
A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if
everyone was buckled in and ready.
"All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except one
lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards."
Lawyer Joke: 49
What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A Doberman.
Lawyer Joke: 50
At a jury trial with the jury consisting of 8 men and 4 women:
Defendant: "Your Honor, I wish to change my plea."
Judge: "Is someone using undue influence to prompt you to
change your mind?"
Defendant: "No sir, when I pleaded Not Guilty I didn't know
there would be women on the jury. Since I can't even fool my
wife, I'll never be able to fool the four women jurors."
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