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Foreign Joke: 1
There was a scottsman and he was too drunk to walk home from the bar. He decides to lay down a park bench and sleep. Tomorrow he would walk home after he was sober. In the morning two little girls are walking by to go to school when they see he is wearing his kilt. One of the little girls get curious and decide to lift up his kilt. They see he's not wearing anything under his kilt so one of the little girls takes a blue ribbon out of her hair and ties it around his thing in a nice little bow. They put his kilt back down and go to school. A little while after the man wakes up and natures calling. He finds the nearest bush, lifts up his kilt and looks down. He says in his scotish accent, "I don't know where ya been but ya won first prize."

Foreign Joke: 2
A tourist, visiting a small town in Israel, came upon a statue dedicated to "The Unknown Soldier". At the base of the statue, a sign was displayed: "Here lies Seymour Ruthenberg". The tourist inquired of one of the locals how was it possible an unknown had a name. The resident replied, "As a soldier, that Seymour was pretty much unknown, but as an accountant-Oy! He was something."

Foreign Joke: 3
Iraqi vs. American Average Iraqi

Has visited the convergence of the Tigris and Euphrates, cradle of the ancient civilization founded by his ancestors

Average American

Once got really sick on the Wild Mouse ride at Six Flags theme park

Average Iraqi

Willing to participate in Holy War for his nation

Average American

Willing to participate in People's Choice Awards

Average Iraqi

Lines up by the thousands to die for country

Average American

Will go to any extreme to avoid jury duty

Average Iraqi

Has endured many food shortages during wars with Iran and embargo by West

Average American

Shoves McDonalds cashier if their Happy Meal doesn't include McCookies

Average Iraqi

Believes if he dies in battle, he will go straight to Paradise

Average American

Believes if, in a dream, you don't wake up before hitting the ground, you die

Average Iraqi

Has friend or relative wounded in ruthless wars of conquest

Average American

Has beer guzzling uncle who shot self in foot on hunting trip

Average Iraqi

Thinks Saddam Hussein is a political genius

Average American

Thinks Saddam Hussein makes Dan Quayle seem like Einstein

Foreign Joke: 4
What goes in and out and smells of piss?

The Queen Mother

Foreign Joke: 5
One day, a Smartie and a Polo were having a drink in the pub.

Suddenly the pub door swings open and in walks a Humbug.

“Fuck me” shouts Polo, and immediately dives under the table.

“What the fuck are you doing that for?” says Smartie.

“That humbug always gives me a right good kicking whenever I see

him, so I’m hiding from him” says Polo.

“You should stand up to him” says Smartie. “He’ll respect you more

if you do”

Sure enough, the humbug walks over and gives the Polo a right slap.

“Fuck off you stripy wanker, or I’ll knock the fucking shit out of

you” says Polo.

“Hey, no problem man, can I buy you a drink” says Humbug.

“Told you so” says Smartie.

The next night Polo and Smartie are sitting in the pub again, when in

walks Humbug with his mate, Tune.

“Fuck me” shouts Polo again diving under the table.

“What the fuck are you doing that for again” says Smartie.

“I know you said stand up to bullies, but thats Tune” says Polo.

“So what?” says Smartie.

“He’s fucking menthol” says Polo.

sent by Steve Butler

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