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Ethnic Joke: 191
| Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
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Ethnic Joke: 192
ARKANSAS MOTHER WRITES HER SON
Dearest Redneck Son,
I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in
the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from
your home, so we moved.
I won't be able to send you the address because the last
Arkansas family that lived here took the house numbers when they
moved so that they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine.
I'm not sure it works so well though. Last week I put a load of
clothes in and pulled the chain...we haven't seen them since.
The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last
week; the first time for three days and the second time for four
days.
About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle
Stanley said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the
buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were
really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your
father out.
Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found
out what it is yet so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle.
The baby looks just like your brother.
Uncle Ted fell in a whisky vat last week. Some men tried
to pull him out, but he fought them off playfully and drpwmed.
We had him cremated and he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup
truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam
to safety. Your other two friends were in back. They drowned
because they couldn't get the tailgate down.
There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much
out of the normal has happened.
Love, Mom
Ethnic Joke: 193
Two Polish guys are discussing one's upcoming wedding... "I'm not sure if
my future bride is a virgin or not."
His buddy replies, "Oh, there's an easy test for that. All you need is
some red paint, some blue paint and a shovel. You paint one ball red and
one ball blue. On your honeymoon, if she laughs and says 'Those are
the funniest balls I've ever seen!' you hit her with the shovel!"
Ethnic Joke: 194
Because his son wasn't the brightest kid in the world, old Hillbilly Joe
took him to the outhouse one day to teach him how to urinate properly.
"Now you lissen good, Dan'l, 'cuz here's whatcha gotta do. One: Take out
your penie-pipe.
Two: Pull back the foreskin.
Three: Pee.
Four: Push back your foreskin.
Five: Put your equipment back."
The boy said he understood, but the next day while he was working at his
still, Joe's wife came running over. "Oh, Joe, Joe, come quick! Dan'l went
ta piss an' won't come out of the outhouse!"
"Hell, whut's he doin' in there?" Joe said.
I dunno. He jess keeps sayin' "Two-four, two-four, two-four......"
Ethnic Joke: 195
A Jewish father has two kids who want to sell lemonade on the street
corner for 15 cents a glass. He figures he'll spend about 3 bucks on the
ingredients, the kids will sell maybe 10 glasses and then drink the rest
and get stomach aches. His eventual response:
"Go stand on the corner for two hours and come back, I'll give
you two dollars. Everybody wins."
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