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Elderly Joke: 41
| An old man and an old woman were sitting at the breakfast
table on the morning of their 50th wedding anniversary.
The old man said,"You know, 50 years ago, we were probably
sitting here buck naked."
The woman said, "Why don't we try that again?"
So they stripped and sat down at the table again.
Soon the old woman said, "Honey, my titties are as hot for
you today as they were 50 years ago."
The man replied, "Of course they are dear, one's in your
oatmeal and the others in your coffee!"
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Elderly Joke: 42
Here is this guy who really takes care of his body,
he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day.
One morning he looks into the mirror and admires his
body. he noticed that he is really sun-tanned all over,
except his penis, and he decies to do something about it.
He goes to the beach, strips completey and burries himself
in the sand, except for his penis sticking out of the sand.
Two little old ladies are strolling along the beach and one
looks down and says "There is no justice in this world".
The other lady says "What do you mean?"
The first lady says "Look at that".
When I was 10 Yeras old I was afriad of it.
When I was 20, I was curious about it.
When I was 30, I enjoyed it.
When I was 40, I asked for it.
When I was 50, I paid for it.
When I was 60, I prayed for it.
When I was 70, I forgot about it.
And now that I'm 80, the damn things are growing wild
Elderly Joke: 43
At the ripe old age of 77, grandpa had decided to marry a young girl of 20.
Grandpa's doctor tried to explain that at his age sex with a young girl
could be dangerous, even fatal. Grandpa, not the slightest bit perturbed
replied "Oh well, if she dies, I'll just get myself another one."
Elderly Joke: 44
THERE WERE THREE OLD LADIES SITTING AROUND THE KITCHEN TABLE; GERTRUDE,
SOPHIA, AND HARRIET. GERTRUDE SAID, "I THINK I'LL GO UPSTAIRS NOW AND TAKE
A BATH." SHE TOOK ALL HER CLOTHES OFF AS AS SHE WAS FILLING UP THE TUB, SHE
HAD ONE FOOT IN THE TUB AND THE OTHER STILL OUTSIDE THE TUB. SHE SAID "WAS
I GOING INTO THE TUB, OR COMING OUT OF THE TUB?" SOPHIA AND HARRIET WERE
DOWNSTAIRS CHATTING WITH EACH OTHER, WHEN SOPHIA SAID, "YOU KNOW,
GERTRUDE'S BEEN UP THERE FOR QUITE A WHILE, I'D BETTER GO CHECK ON HER."
AS SHE WAS GOING UP THE STAIRS SHE STOPPED AND TURNED AROUND AND SAID, "WAS
I GOING UP THE STAIRS, OR COMING DOWN THE STAIRS?" HARRIET WAS LEFT
SITTING AT THE TABLE BY HERSELF. AFTER SHE HEARD SOPHIA'S REMARK SHE SAID,
"THANK GOODNESS I'M NOT THAT BAD KNOCK ON WOOD." "WAS THAT THE FRONT DOOR
OR THE BACK DOOR?"
Elderly Joke: 45
Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test. The
doctor says to the first man, "What is three times three?"
"274," was his reply.
The doctor says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is
three times three?"
"Tuesday," replies the second man.
The doctor says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's
three times three?"
"Nine," says the third man. "That's great!" says the doctor. "How did
you get that?"
"Simple," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."
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