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Elderly Joke: 36
| year old man comes to his doctor looking depressed.
He says "Doc, I think I'm impotent." Doctor sits him
down and begins the standard speech he gives to senior
citizens, about how as the body ages bodily functions
slow down and it is completely normal to suffer some
decrease in sexual desire. How the man shouldn't worry
or become upset about it, but should just relax and
things will probably be completely fine and blah blah
blah. Finally the doctor asks "When did you first
begin to think you were impotent?"
"Three times last night, and again this morning."
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Elderly Joke: 37
The aged patient doddered into the doctor's office with a serious complaint.
"Doc, you've got to do something to lower my sex drive."
"Come on now Mr Peters," the doctor said, "your sex drives all in your head."
"Thats what I mean, you've got to lower it a little."
Elderly Joke: 38
Minutes before the cremation, the undertaker quietly sat down
next to the grieving widow. "How old was your husband?" he
asked.
"He was ninety-eight," she answered softly. "Two years oder
than I am."
"Really?" the undertaker said. "Hardly worth going home,
wouldn't you say?"
Elderly Joke: 39
One day an older fella was in for a checkup.
After his examination, his doctor was amazed.
"Holy cow! Mr. Edwards, I must say that you are in the
greatest shape of any 64 year old I have ever examined!"
"Did I say I was 64?"
"Well, no, did I read your chart wrong?"
"Damn straight you did! I'm 85!"
"85!! Unbelievable! You would be in great shape if you were
25! How old was your father when he died?"
"Did I say he was dead?"
"You mean..."
"Damn straight! He's 106 and going strong!"
"My Lord! What a healthy family you must come from!
How long did your grandfather live?"
"Did I say he was dead?"
"No! You can't mean..."
"Damn straight! He's 126, and getting married next week!"
"126! Truly amazing, Mr. Edwards. But gee, I wouldn't think
a man would want to get married at that age!"
"Did I say he 'wanted' to get married?..."
Elderly Joke: 40
The 75 year old man and his young, knockout wife were
shopping in an upscale jewelry boutique when the man's
oldest friend bumped into him. Eyeing the curvaceous
blonde bending over the counter to try on a necklace,
the friend asked "How in the hell did YOU land a wife
like that?"
The old man whispered back, "Easy. I told her I was 90!"
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