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Elderly Joke: 21
| A pious man who had reached the age of 105 suddenly
stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow's
absence after so many years of faithful attendance the Rabbi
went to see him.
He found him in excellent health, so the Rabbi asked, "How
come after all these years we don't see you at services
anymore?"
The old man looked around and lowered his voice. "I'll tell you,
Rabbi," he whispered. "When I got to be 90, I expected God to
take me any day. But then I got to be 95, then 100, then 105.
So I figured that God is very busy and must've forgotten about
me, and I don't want to remind Him!"
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Elderly Joke: 22
Three old ladies are walking down the street. They are hard of hearing.
One: Whew, it's windy today!
Two: No. Today's Thursday!
Three: So am I! Let's go to a bar!
Elderly Joke: 23
An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassing
problem. "I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, and
they have no odor. In fact, since I've been here, I've farted no less than
twenty times. What can I do?"
"Here's a prescription, Mrs. Harris. Take these pills three times a day for
seven days and comeback and see me in a week."
Next week an upset Mrs. Harris marched into Dr. Johnson's office. "Doctor, I
don't know what was in those pills, but the problem is worse! I'm farting
just as much, but now they smell terrible! What do you have to say for
yourself?".
"Calm down, Mrs.Harris," said the doctor soothingly. "Now that we've fixed
your
sinuses, we'll work on your hearing."
Elderly Joke: 24
A couple, age 67, went to the doctor's office. The doctor asked, "What can
I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor
said, "There is nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." And he
then charged them $32.00.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment,
have intercourse, pay the doctor and leave.
Finally the doctor asked, "Just what exactly are you trying to find out?"
The old man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. She is married
and we can't go to her house. I am married and we can't go to my house.
The Holiday Inn charges $60.00 and the Hilton charges $75.00. We do it here
for $32.00, and I get back $28.00 from Medicare for a visit to the doctor's
office."
Elderly Joke: 25
Two senior couples are walking along, wives in front, husbands in
back. Herb says to Sam, "Gee, we went to a new restaurant last night
and had the best meal ever. Good prices too."
Sam says, "Well, we like to eat out too. What was the name of the
restaurant?"
Herb says, "You'll going to have to help me out here a little. What's
the name of that pretty flower, smells sweet, grows on a thorny bush?"
Sam says, "How about rose?"
"Yes, yes, that's it!" cries Herb, then calls ahead to his wife.
"Rose. Hey, Rose. What was the name of the restaurant we ate at last
night?"
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