Elderly Jokes

  The eighty-eight-year-old millionaire married an eighteen-year-
 old country girl.  He was quite content, but after a few weeks 
 she told him that she was going to leave him if she didn't get 
 some loving real soon. He had his chauffeured limousine take 
 him to a high-priced specialist who studied him and then gave 
 him a shot of spermatozoa. "Now look," the doctor said, "the 
 only way you're going to get it up is to say "beep," and then to 
 get it soft again, you say, "beep, beep."
 
 "How marvelous," the old man said.
 
 "Yes, but I must warn you," the doctor said," it's only going to 
 work three times before you die."
 
 On his way home, the man decided he wasn't going to live 
 through three of them anyway, so he decided to waste one 
 trying it out. "Beep!" he said. Immediately he was UP. Satisfied, 
 he said, "beep, beep," and he was down again.  He chuckled 
 with delight and anticipation. At that moment, a little yellow 
 Volkswagen pulled past his limousine and went "beep," and the 
 car in the opposite lane responded with "beep beep." 
 
 Alert to his jeopardy, the old man instructed his chauffeur to 
 "speed it up."  He raced into the house as fast as he could for 
 his last great lay.  "Honey," he shouted at her, "don't ask 
 questions.  Just drop your clothes and hope into bed." Caught 
 up in his excitement, she did.  He undressed nervously and 
 hurried in after her.  Just as he was climbing into bed, he said, 
 "beep," and he was UP.
 
 He was just starting to enter his young wife when she said,, 
 "What's all this "beep beep" shit?"