|
Elderly Joke: 6
| A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little
boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa,
I bet I can put that worm back in that hole."
The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too
wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."
The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair
spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. Then
he puts the worm back into the hole.
The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray, and
runs into the house. Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and
hands the little boy another five dollars.
The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars."
The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your grandma."
On their first night together, the newly weds decided to set up signals
concerning their "urges".
The lady said "If you want it, squeeze my BOOB once, if you don't want it,
squeeze my BOOB twice."
The gent said "OK, if you want it, pull my DONG once, if you don't want it,
pull my DONG 48 times."
|
|
Elderly Joke: 7
A couple of geezers were sitting on a bench outside the nursing home, having
a little chat. "How are you, Tom?" asked Marvin.
"I'm not feeling well today - utterly exhausted," Tom replied. "I pulled a
muscle and it's killing me."
"That pulled muscle shouldn't make you so tired, though."
"Well, it does if you pull it a couple of hundred times...."
Elderly Joke: 8
One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to
find her husband in bed with another woman. Angry, she
became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of
their apartment, killing him instantly. When brought before the
court on charges of murder, she was asked if she had anything
to say to defend herself.
"Well, Your Honor," she replied coolly. "I figured that at 92, if
he could make love to another woman, he could fly!"
Elderly Joke: 9
An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application. Too old to have
a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough. He opens his shirt and shows them
the gray hair on his chest and they accept that as proof. He goes home to his wife, show's her
the check, and explains to her what has happened. She replies, "Well get back down there, pull
down your pants, and see if you can get disability!"
Elderly Joke: 10
This 60 year old woman was walking along 5th Avenue when she heard a voice from above
"You will live to be 100."
She looked around and didn't see anyone. Again she heard "You will live to be 100."
Boy, she thought to herself, that was the voice of God. I've got 40 more years to live!
So off she went to the plastic surgeon. She got everything fixed from head to toe.
When she left the plastic surgeon's office, she got hit by a bus,died, and went up to heaven.
She said to God "You told me I would live to be 100. I was supposed to have had 40 more years.
So how come you let the bus kill me?".
God said: "I didn't recognize you".
< < Prev
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
Next > >
|
|
