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Elderly Joke: 61
| Two really old guys decided they would go out and try to play a round of
golf together. They get on the first tee and the first old guy says to the
second, "My eyesight isn't what it used to be. Can you watch my ball for
me?".
The second guy says, "Sure! I see fine. Go ahead and hit."
So the first old man steps up to the tee and really hits it. He turns to
his buddy and says, "Did you see it?".
"Sure!", says his buddy.
"Where did it go?", the first guy asks.
The second old man thinks for a minute and says, "I can't remember."
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Elderly Joke: 62
A certain old gentleman thought his eyesight was going bad, and he
was advised to go to see an eye doctor. He goes in to see the doctor,
and the doctor said, "All right, let's check you out. You sit down here
on this stool. You put your right hand over your right eye and read
that chart on the wall over there."
He puts his left hand over his left eye. The doctor says, "No, no,
no. Put your right hand over your right eye."
This old person puts both hands over both eyes. The doctor is now
getting upset. The patient continues to screw up, and the doctor
really gets mad and says, "All right, I'll fix you!" He gets a paper
bag out of the closet, puts one hole in it, puts it over his head, and
says, "Now, read that chart!" The guy read it perfect!
The doctor takes the bag off, and this old person starts crying
like a baby. The doctor says, "Now, what the hell is wrong with you?"
"Well, when I first came in here, I had my heart set on wire frames!"
Elderly Joke: 63
An elderly couple, still very loving after all these years, is shocked
when the woman's doctor says she has a heart condition that could kill her
at any time. She is to avoid stress, eat right, and never, ever have sex
again -- the strain would be too much.
The couple reluctantly try to live by these rules. Both get really horny
over time, however, and the husband decides he'd better sleep downstairs
on the couch to guard against temptation.
This works for a few weeks, until late one night when they meet each other
on the stairs -- she's coming downstairs, he's heading up.
"Honey, I have a confession to make," the woman says, her voice quavering.
"I was about to commit suicide."
"I'm glad to hear it, sweetie," the man says, "Because I was just coming
upstairs to kill you!"
Elderly Joke: 64
What's the best thing about turning 65?
No more calls from insurance salesmen.
Elderly Joke: 65
"What's wrong, sonny?" asked the old timer sympathetically, coming over
to the little kid who was sitting on the curb, crying his heart out.
"I'm crying 'cause I can't do what the big boys do!" So the old man sat
down and wept too.
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