|
Elderly Joke: 46
| A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse. He got out and
knocked at the door. A very old woman answered the door, and
he asked her for directions to Des Moines.
"Don't know," the woman said.
He got back in his car and pulled away. Then he heard voices.
He looked in his rearview mirror and saw the woman and an
equally old man waving for him to come back. So he made a U-
turn and drove up to them.
"This is my husband," the old woman said. "He doesn't know
how to get to Des Moines either."
|
|
Elderly Joke: 47
The 70-year-old man sat down in the orthopedic surgeon's
office. "You know, Doc," he said, "I've made love in more exotic
cars than anyone I know. Must be at least a thousand."
"And now, I suppose, you want me to treat you for the arthritis
you got from scrunching up in all those uncomfortable
positions," the medic said.
"Hell, no," the old fellow replied. "I want to borrow your
Lamborghini."
Elderly Joke: 48
An 80-year-old couple were having problems remembering things, so they
decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was
wrong with them.
When they arrived at the doctor's, they explained to the doctor about
the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple
out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to
start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things. The
couple thanked the doctor and left.
Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair
and his wife asked, "Where are you going?"
He replied, "To the kitchen."
She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
He replied, "Sure."
She then asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can
remember it?"
He said, "No, I can remember that."
She then said, "Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You
had better write that down 'cause I know you'll forget that."
He said, "I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with
strawberries."
She replied, "Well, I'd also like whipped cream on top. I know you'll
forget that so you'd better write it down."
With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down!
I can remember that." He then went fuming into the kitchen.
After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a
plate of bacon and eggs.
She stared at the plate for a moment and said, "You forgot my toast."
Elderly Joke: 49
An old lady lived by herself in a small house in a small
town. One day she went to the local grocery store and while
she was gone a criminal broke into her house, took her
clothes off of the line, smashed the watermellons in her
garden, shaved her cat and then left when he couldn't find
any money. Well, a couple of hours later the old laty got
home and when she saw what had happened to her house she
immediately called the police. When the officer on the other
end answered the phone and asked her what the problem was
she simply replied "yes officer someone broke into my house,
took my clothes off, squeezed my melons, and shaved my
pussy.
Sent by BIG GUY
Elderly Joke: 50
Three little old ladies, sitting on a park bench.
The town flasher comes by and shows them his ALL!
The first little old lady had a huge stroke. The
second little old lady had a little stroke.
The third little old lady would have had a
stroke................but her arms weren't quite long enough.
< < Prev
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
Next > >
|
|
