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Elderly Joke: 46
A driver pulled up beside a rundown farmhouse. He got out and knocked at the door. A very old woman answered the door, and he asked her for directions to Des Moines.

"Don't know," the woman said.

He got back in his car and pulled away. Then he heard voices. He looked in his rearview mirror and saw the woman and an equally old man waving for him to come back. So he made a U- turn and drove up to them.

"This is my husband," the old woman said. "He doesn't know how to get to Des Moines either."


Elderly Joke: 47
The 70-year-old man sat down in the orthopedic surgeon's office. "You know, Doc," he said, "I've made love in more exotic cars than anyone I know. Must be at least a thousand."

"And now, I suppose, you want me to treat you for the arthritis you got from scrunching up in all those uncomfortable positions," the medic said.

"Hell, no," the old fellow replied. "I want to borrow your Lamborghini."


Elderly Joke: 48
An 80-year-old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.

When they arrived at the doctor's, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left.

Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?"

He replied, "To the kitchen."

She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"

He replied, "Sure."

She then asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?"

He said, "No, I can remember that."

She then said, "Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down 'cause I know you'll forget that."

He said, "I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."

She replied, "Well, I'd also like whipped cream on top. I know you'll forget that so you'd better write it down."

With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down! I can remember that." He then went fuming into the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stared at the plate for a moment and said, "You forgot my toast."


Elderly Joke: 49
An old lady lived by herself in a small house in a small town. One day she went to the local grocery store and while she was gone a criminal broke into her house, took her clothes off of the line, smashed the watermellons in her garden, shaved her cat and then left when he couldn't find any money. Well, a couple of hours later the old laty got home and when she saw what had happened to her house she immediately called the police. When the officer on the other end answered the phone and asked her what the problem was she simply replied "yes officer someone broke into my house, took my clothes off, squeezed my melons, and shaved my pussy.

Sent by BIG GUY


Elderly Joke: 50
Three little old ladies, sitting on a park bench. The town flasher comes by and shows them his ALL! The first little old lady had a huge stroke. The second little old lady had a little stroke.

The third little old lady would have had a stroke................but her arms weren't quite long enough.





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