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Drunks Joke: 31
| A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street
with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop
pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously
drunk."
Our wasted friend asked, "Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I'm
drunk?"
Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I
thought I was a cripple."
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Drunks Joke: 32
There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a
bar. Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells, "ATTENTION
ALL" and farts loudly.
The wife is extremely embarrassed, and the husband looks at
the drunk and says" Excuse me, you just farted before my
wife."
The drunks replies," I'm sorry I didn't know it was her turn."
Drunks Joke: 33
A very drunk man in a bar tells the bartender and everyone that is
sitting near him that he can fart out the tune to The Star Spangelled Banner!
Everyone who hears this wants to see him do it. So he tells everyone to
gather around him, then he climbs up on the bar, drops his trousers and
proceeds to take a massive dump on the bar counter. After he
finishes the disgusted bartender says "Why in the hell did you shit on my
bar?" The drunk replies "Even Elvis had to clear his throat!"
Sent by Paul
Drunks Joke: 34
O'Connell was staggering home with a pint of booze in his back pocket when
he slipped and fell heavily. Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet
running down his leg.
"Please, God," he implored, "let it be blood!"
Drunks Joke: 35
A drunk staggered into a cemetery and fell into a freshly dug grave.
Pretty soon a second drunk staggered by. "Get me out of here", said the
one in the grave, "I'm cold". The other one looked over the edge and said,
"No wonder you're cold, you poor guy. You don't have any dirt on you".
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