Drunks Jokes

  A man in a state of excessive inebriation rolled up at a 
 fairground rifle range booth and threw down the necessary 
 money. The booth operator at first refused to let him have a 
 turn, considering that his inebriated state would endanger the 
 public. But the drunk insisted and was given a gun.
 
 He aimed unsteadily in the general direction of the target and 
 after tying to focus, pulled the trigger three times. The booth 
 owner, on inspecting the target, was astonished to see that he 
 had scored three bullseyes. The star prize for the evening was 
 a large set of glassware, but the showman was certain that the 
 drunk wasn't aware of what he had done, and gave him instead 
 a consolation prize, a small, live turtle. The drunk wandered 
 off into the crowd.
 
 An hour or so later he came back, even more drunk than 
 before. Once again the showman demurred, but once again the 
 drunk insisted, and once more scored three bullseyes and was 
 given another turtle.
 
 Eventually the drunk rolled up again and insisted on a third 
 attempt. Once more he picked up the rifle, waved it around in 
 the general direction of the target, and pulled the trigger three 
 times. Once more he had scored three bullseyes. But this time 
 there was an onlooker with good eyesight."That's fantastic", the 
 man said. "Hasn't he scored three bulls?"
 
 The showman, cursing his luck, made a show of going over to 
 the target and inspecting it closely.
 
 "Yes, sir!", he announced to the crowd. "This is fantastic! 
 Congratulations, sir, you have won the star prize, this 
 magnificent 68-piece set of glassware!"
 
 "I don't want any bloody glasses", the drunk replied. "Give me 
 another one of those little crusty meat pies!"