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Computer Joke: 21
| IBM Memo about Peripheral Replacement
This is an actual alert to IBM Field Engineers that went out to all
IBM Branch Offices. The person who wrote it was very serious. The rest
of us may find it rather funny.
Abstract: Mouse Balls Available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit) Mouse
balls are now available as FRU. Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate
or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement.
Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse
balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.
Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the
underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than
foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon
manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the
pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced using the twist-off
method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However,
excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of
ball replacement, the mouse maybe used immediately.
It is recommended that each replacer have a pair of spare balls for
maintaining optimum customer satisfaction, and that any customer
missing his balls should suspect local personnel of removing these
necessary items.
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Computer Joke: 22
A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him
and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me
back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart
and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the
frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me
back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion
for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket,
smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into
a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want."
Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back
into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm
a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do
anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have
time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."
Computer Joke: 23
PCMCIA People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN It Still Does Nothing
APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
SCSI System Can't See It
DOS Defunct Operating System
BASIC Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM I Blame Microsoft
DEC Do Expect Cuts
CD-ROM Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2 Obsolete Soon, Too.
WWW World Wide Wait
MACINTOSH Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
Computer Joke: 24
Interesting things about Monica Lewinsky:
- Nobody would know about her if it weren't for Bill
- She sucks
- She blows
- She's bloated
- She's the focus of a huge legal battle
- She'll go down in a heartbeat
Who does she think she is, Microsoft Windows?
Computer Joke: 25
What do you get when you cross a hooker with a systems engineer?
A fuckin know-it-all!
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