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Children Joke: 31
| PUPPY LOVE
A man and his son were walking through a field, and saw two dogs
mating. The little boy
asked his Dad what was happening. The Father replied, "Well, son,
they're making a
puppy." The following evening, the little boy was thirsty, so he went
from his bed to get a
glass of water. Not being able to reach the glasses, he walked
unannounced into his parents
bedroom, who were making love in their usual missionary position.
Confused, the boy
asked what were they doing. The Dad responded very slowly and caringly
to his
impressionanle little boy, "Well, son, we are making you a little
brother. "The little boy
replied ,"Please turn Mom over, Dad, I'd rather have a puppy!"
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Children Joke: 32
"Winnie The ????"
It was the first day after Christmas vacation in a 3rd grade class.
The
teacher told the class that each student could tell the class one
thing
they got for Christmas. So, the teacher calls on a girl to come up to
the front of the class and tell everyone 1 thing she got.
"My daddy got me a Bow-Wow," she said.
The teacher tells the class that they are old enough to know the
correct
words for things without using nicknames. The teacher tells the girl
to
try again. The girl thinks real hard ........
"My dad got me a dog," she said.
She sat down and a boy got up and said, "I got a choo-choo!"
The teacher scolded him and told him to try again. The boy thought
hard
and said, "I got an electric train!!"
That boy sits down and a really shy kid gets up and sadly says,
"I got a book" The teacher feels bad for the kid and she asks,
"What was the title of the book??"
The boy thinks very hard. The class waits as the boy is thinking.
Finally, the boys face brightened and he said,
"Winnie The Shit!!"
Children Joke: 33
The Wisdom of Youth Never give up because life gets harder
as you get older.
After preschool the road of life keeps getting bumpier and bumpier and
bumpier. Angela Martin, age 11
Never blow in a cat's ear because if you do, usually after three or
four times, they will bite your lips! And they don't let go for at
least a minute. Lisa Coburn, age 9
Don't think life is easy, because when you get older it is hard work.
I used to think life was easy, now I have to do the dishes every other
day. Nick Coleman, age 9
Take risks. I mean, if you like this person and you don't know if they
like you, ask them out and see what happens. I liked this girl and I
asked her out. She said no and she hates me now, but I took that risk.
Bruce Wagner, age 13
A realist is more correct about things in life than an optimist. But
the optimist seems to have more friends and much more fun. Megan, age
14
When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with
atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with
explosions. When people run around and around in circles we say they
are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting. Rainbows are
just to look at, not to really understand. Someday we may discover how
to make magnets that can point in any direction. A vibration is a
motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go. Many
dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to
be oil. Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you
don't why you should. Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to
let them know we know they're there. Some oxygen molecules help fires
burn while others help make water, so sometimes it's brother against
brother.
Children Joke: 34
A teacher asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a
sentence. Mary said, "My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we
saw all the animals. It was fascinating." The teacher said, "That was
good, but I wanted the word "'fascinate.'" Sally raised her hand. She
said, "My family went to the Philadelphia Zoo and saw the animals. I
was fascinated." The teacher said, "Good, but I wanted the word
'fascinate.'" Little Billy raised his hand. The teacher hesitated
because Billy was noted for is bad language. She finally decided there
was no way he could damage the word "fascinate" so she called on him.
Billy said, "My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons, but her boobs
are so big she can only fasten 8."
Children Joke: 35
This guy was walking down the sidewalk when he sees a Little Johnny
wearing a red firefighter's hat and sitting in a red wagon which is
being pulled slowly by a large Labador Retriever. When he got a little
closer, he saw that the kid was holding a rope which is tied to the
dog's testicles, which may explain why the dog is walking so slowly.
Going up to the kid, he said,"That's a nice fire engine you got there,
but I bet it would go faster if you have the rope around the dog's
neck."
"Yeah," the kid replied."But I wouldn't have a siren."
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