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Children Joke: 161
| To stop her 4-year old daughter from biting her nails, her mother tells
her it'll make her fat. "I won't do it any more, Mom," says the daughter.
Next day they are out walking when they meet a very fat man. "If I bite my
fingernails, I'll be as fat as that, won't I Mom?" "You'll be fatter than
that," says her mother. They get on a bus, and sitting opposite them is a
very pregnant lady. The little girl can't take her eyes off the woman's
belly. The pregnant lady feels increasingly uncomfortable under this
stare, and finally leans forward and says to the little girl, "Excuse me,
but do you know me?" And the little girl says, "No, but I know what you've
been doing..."
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Children Joke: 162
A young boy, about eight years old, walks into the local
grocery store and picks our a huge box of laundry detergent.
The grocer walked over, and trying to be friendly,
asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.
"Nope, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog!"
"But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog. It's very
powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick.
In fact, it might even kill him."
But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent
to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still
tried to talk him out of washing his dog.
About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy some
candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing.
"Oh, he died," the boy said sadly.
The grocer, trying not to be an I-told-you-so, said he was
sorry the dog died but added, "I tried to tell you not to use
that detergent on your dog!"
"Well," the boy replied, "I don't think it was the detergent
that killed him."
"Oh? What was it then?"
"I think it was the spin cycle!"
Children Joke: 163
Boy: Will you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not!
Boy: Good, cause I didn't do my homework!
Children Joke: 164
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog had recently died.
"You know, it's not your fault that the dog died. He's probably up in
heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."
Susie, still crying, said "What would God want with a dead dog?"
Children Joke: 165
Two children are in a doctor's waiting room, and one of them is crying.
"Why are you crying?" asked the other child.
"I'm here for a blood test, and they're going to cut my finger."
When he heard this, the other child started to cry.
"Why are you crying?"
"I'm here for a urine test."
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