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Children Joke: 116
| Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream
on her face.
"Why do you do that, Mommy?"
"To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing
the cream with a tissue.
"What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"
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Children Joke: 117
This preacher was looking for a good used lawnmower one day. He found one
at a yard sale that Little Johnny happened to be manning.
"This mower work, son?" the preacher asked.
Little Johnny said, "Sure does -- just pull on the cord hard, though."
The preacher took the mower home and when he got ready to mow he yanked
and pulled and tugged on that cord. Nothing worked. It wouldn't start.
Thinking he'd been swindled, he took the mower back to Little Johnny's
house. "You said this would work if I pulled on the cord hard enough."
"Well," Johnny said, "you need to curse at it sometimes."
The preacher was aghast. "I've not done that in years!"
"Just keep yanking on that cord, Preacher. It'll come back to you."
Children Joke: 118
A little boy and his dad are standing in line at the grocery store behind
a big fat lady. The little boy says, "hey dad, look how fat that lady is!"
"Shhhh, quiet son, she'll hear you."
"But dad, look how big and fat that lady is!"
"Shhhhhh, don't say that son, it's not nice!"
"But dad, look how big and fat that lady is!"
"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh, don't say that son, it's not nice and it's rude!"
Suddenly the fat lady's beeper goes off.
"Look out dad, she's backing up!"
Children Joke: 119
Teacher: Little Johnny, go to the map and find North America.
Little Johnny: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
Class: Little Johnny!
Children Joke: 120
Teacher: How can one person make so many stupid mistakes in one day?
Little Johnny: I get up early.
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